Love, In Other Words
by Take this to Heart
Summary: When Lily finally agrees to let "the toerag" tutor her, she never expects that she'll actually enjoy it. James is full of surprises, and Lily's in for a big one! Told from the perspective of James, Sirius, Lily & others.
1. Throwing Words and Heavy Objects

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns everything! **

* * *

><p>"<em>Love is like war: Easy to start but hard to end." <em>

_-Anonymous_

* * *

><p>"<strong>D<strong>on't call me that, Toerag!" I shouted, allowing myself to finally succumb to the frustration that had been brewing inside me ever since the messy-haired, hazel-eyed arse had walked into the dormitory and interrupted my studies.

"If I can't call you Lily Pad, than you can't call me Toerag," he said, smirking slightly as his best mate let out a barking laugh from behind him. I angrily slammed down my Arithmancy book, ignoring the scroll of difficult homework that floated to the ground and landed softly at his feet.

"You dropped something," he said, bending over and picking up the parchment.

"Shut up," I snapped, beginning to stuff my school things into my bag. There was no way I could concentrate on my homework with James Potter and his Number One Fan (better known as Sirius Black) annoying the bloody hell out of me.

"Don't you want it back?"

"I said, _shut it_," I repeated, my mouth forming a thin line.

"The first two are wrong," he informed me in that insufferable know-it-all voice he so often used when pointing out my flaws.

My cheeks burned red as Sirius gave another snort from the armchair he was sprawled in.

If I had my way, Potter and Sirius would be on the next train home. Unfortunately, Head Girls are not allowed to expel students, no matter how much they deserve it. And believe me when I say that Potter and Sirius deserve it.

If it wasn't enough that they lounge around on their arses all day and then copy off of Remus, even though they're perfectly capable of doing it themselves, they also chase after every skirt that so much as glances at them. Sirius is a worse offender than Potter when it comes to matters of the heart (or matters of broken hearts, because there seem to be quite a lot of them where ever Potter and Sirius are concerned), but Potter has his moments. One of my _favorite_ moments is when I caught him snogging Emmeline Vance a mere two hours after he practically begged me to go to Hogsmeade with him.

And then, if you can believe it, he tried to claim that he was just using her to try and get over me, while she was still standing there!

That poor girl probably cried for days.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised at Potter's tactics, I've been around them long enough to be fooled by them a couple of times. Near the middle of sixth year, I had a crisis of character where I joined the ranks of girls who swooned whenever Potter walked into a room for a whole entire week. I foolishly believed that he had changed after we had our knock-down, drag-out fight at the end of fifth year, when he screamed, hands shaking and face red, "I would never, _ever_ call you what he did, Lily! How could you even think that?"

When we returned to school in sixth year, he didn't hex innocent fourth years anymore, didn't spend every waking moment embarrassing me, and actually seemed to be doing his own work for once. However, at the end of that week, I found him giving Donald Creevey jelly legs and realized that he did in fact do all of those things, he just refrained from doing them in front of me.

Needless to say, he got jinxed and I got some sense knocked into me.

I vowed that I would never again be fooled by his irritating proclamations of love that he throws out to me every time we pass in the hallway. And I haven't, which isn't that hard considering we have to share living quarters now, and I'm privy to every single disgusting habit of his.

"_Potter_," I said tersely, grabbing a book, shaking my head clear of thoughts about him, and standing up to face him, "if I wanted your help, I would've asked for it." I snatched the paper back away from him and gasped as it tore in half. "Now look what you did!"

"Me?" He asked in disbelief.

"_Reparo!_ Honestly, I still don't know how you became Head Boy," I muttered under my breath as I seized two more textbooks from the table and began tottering to my room. "It makes no sense to me."

"Well obviously," Sirius spoke up from the chair, "it made sense to Dumbledore and last time I checked, he—'

"_Black_!" I spat, spinning around and dropping a book. "Why are you even here? You aren't Head Girl and you _definitely _aren't Head Boy so get _out_ of the Head Dormitories before I tell the Headmaster!"

"Dumbledore won't mind," Sirius said with a wave of his hand.

"Well if that's how you feel, then I am certainly not above telling Professor McGonagall instead," I quipped, smirking at his look of shock.

"You wouldn't," he accused, narrowing his eyes.

"Wouldn't I?"

With a great sigh, he heaved himself out of the green armchair and shuffled away. "See you later, Prongs. Don't forget to check the mirror."

"I won't," he said, ignoring my snort of disgust. Honestly. Is he incapable of going one day without looking at his bloody reflection? It's not even a good reflection. As the door swung shut Potter turned to me. "Why do you have to do that?"

"Do what?" I asked, picking up the fallen book and heading into my room.

"Run off all my friends whenever they come to visit me!" He exclaimed irately.

"Because Black wasn't visiting you, he was annoying me," I huffed, depositing all of my books on my desk.

"He was accidentally annoying you while visiting me—"

"_And_ because your friends aren't allowed to be in here—get _out_ of _my room_!" I shrieked as I turned around and found him two centimeters away from me.

"Technically this is our room," he said, ignoring the swats I was inflicting on his chest with a roll of his eyes.

"_No_, technically this is our _dorm_, but this is _my_ room. Now get—out!" I said, shoving him backwards.

"Oh Lily Pad, I love it when your cheeks match the color of your hair," he teased, dodging my fist and smirking impishly.

I blew out a frustrated breath and yanked my wand out of my pocket as he reclined on my bed and began sifting through my Witch Weekly magazines. "Evans, did you know that The Jinx Brothers like girls who are nice, funny, and sweet?" he asked, looking up from the magazine with wide eyes. "I guess that rules you out."

"Toerag—"

"Hey, what's this?" Ignoring my cry of indignation, he smoothed out the crumpled piece of parchment and held up a failed Arithmancy homework. Barely concealing a smile, he said, "I can teach you how to do Arithmancy, if you want."

"Yeah, right," I snorted, gripping my wand tightly in front of me and aiming it steadily at him. "The only thing I really need to do is hexes, and I'm pretty good at those. In fact, if you are not out of my room in exactly five seconds, I might just have to show you a demonstration."

He glared at me, not moving an inch. "You wouldn't dare…_Lily Pad_."

"Wouldn't I, Toerag?" With a jerk of my wand, his straight nose transformed into a pig snout with large warts on it. He yowled and hopped up from my bed, dropping my homework and striding across the room to where I was standing, choking on my laughter.

"Look what you did!"

"You asked for it," I shrugged, smiling sweetly up at his furious face.

"Sometimes I hate you, Evans!" He shouted, his usual calm and collected demeanor totally wiped away, as he stood inches from me, breathing hard and radiating resentment.

"Oh really? What happened to all your proclamations of love? I thought you _loved_ me James?"

My mocking tone hit a nerve that made his ears turn scarlet. "I _do_," he spat. "You're just so bloody annoying sometimes!"

"Oh _right_! You love me like I love the Giant Squid," I laughed humorlessly. "Joke's on you this time. Now get _out_ of my room and go get one of your little mates to transform you back to normal!"

He strode out of my room and I slammed the door behind him.

"I don't need one of my little mates to do this for me!" he bellowed through the wood. "You aren't the only one with top marks, Evans!"

"Fine! But If I were you, I'd seriously consider keeping the snout, it fits your personality _so _much better!"

"Are you calling me a pig?" He hollered.

"Congratulations," I screamed, "you understand! Now leave me _alone_!"

With a strangled yell, James threw a heavy object at my locked door, making a loud thunk and probably yet another knick in the wood. "You're going to have to replace that door sooner or later!" his muffled voice yelled, and I heard him furiously spit out the counter curse that transformed his nose back to normal.

"Why don't you just stop throwing things at my door?" I sneered.

"Why don't you stop making me throw things at your door?"

Instead of answering him, I threw myself down on my bed, fuming silently and glaring at my pillow that was the color of his eyes.


	2. The Way to Win a Heart

"_The art of love…is largely the art of persistence."_

_-Albert Ellis_

* * *

><p>Jamesie, Moony, and I lay sprawled in the grass under the shade of the beech tree, all thinking of a solution for Prongs' predicament. Prongs was slowly releasing his snitch and catching it again, his preferred exercise in his spare time, and Moony was flipping lazily through a book on the magical creatures of Bulgaria. I was doing a something a bit more constructive, if I do say so myself. Instead of doing something completely boring, I was busy gliding my patronus gracefully over the Black Lake making all the girls that were sunbathing squeal in delight.<p>

I know, I know. Sirius Black can entertain pretty girls while simultaneously practicing Defense Against the Dark Arts and coming up with the answer to all of his best friend's problems? It sounds impossible, but what can I say? I'm a talented bloke.

I'm so talented, in fact, that it was me who eventually solved the problem of 'How to make James and Evans date'.

"I've got it," I said after a while, sitting straight up and grinning at the others as they watched me hopefully. A groan sounded from the lake as my patronus dissipated into the air, and I took time to toss the girls a grin before continuing with my realization. "All these years we've been thinking up ways for Prongsie to _tell _Evans how he feels, when we should have been thinking up ways for him to _show _her!"

Moony let his book fall shut as he sat up and let a smile spread over his face. "Padfoot…that's actually a wonderful idea! You're a genius!"

I made a face at Moony's surprised tone as Wormtail ran up the side of the hill, panting heavily and collapsed beside us. "Sorry, I just now finished my detention with Professor Slughorn. He's such a fat git. What'd I miss, why is Sirius a genius now?"

James sat up to join us, his face broken into a wide grin. "Padfoot here just figured out how to make me the happiest man on the face of the earth!"

Peter grinned excitedly. "Wicked! How?"

They huddled around me as I explained my idea. "All we have to do is get Prongsie to show Evans he loves her, not just tell her."

"But how do we show her that he loves her? How exactly does one show love?" Remus asked, his brow furrowing slightly.

James pursed his lips as I continued with my explanation. "All we have to do is find a way for Prongsie to spend some time with Evans! While they're spending time together, Prongs will be so sweet, and such a gentleman, that Evans will _have _to fall for him!"

"Yeah!" Remus agreed, his grin returning.

"But how do I start spending time with her?" James asked. "What's my way in?"

I shrugged, glancing back over at the girls across the lake. "I dunno, do you expect me to do everything?"

Remus rolled his eyes at me. "James, just think of something you have in common-"

"Nothing," he said, frowning sadly.

"Okay...what about something she can help you with?"

James furrowed his brow for a moment. "I can't think of anything," he whined.

Wow.

"Conceited!" I coughed, furtively looking at James as Wormy began giggling.

"What did you say?" he asked, glaring at me. I didn't answer and he lunged at me tackling me to the ground.

"Oh no," I said in a fake falsetto voice as I struggled to get free beneath him. "James, please, no...oh, that tickles!"

"Shove off!" he said, laughing as he pinned my head to the ground.

"No, Jamesie-Hey!" I shouted, my normal voice returning. "Come on, Prongs! Not the hair! Anything but the hair!"

"James!" Moony yelled over our voices. "What about something _you_ could help _her_ with?"

"Nope, there's nothing-wait a minute," he said, letting me up and sitting back on his heels. "She's absolute rubbish at Arithmancy! I can tutor her!"

"Yeah," Peter cheered, giving me a smile that I ignored.

If Prongs thought that he could just rub my hair in the dirt and get away from it, he was sorely mistaken. He knew how much time I put into the grooming and the cleaning...he _knew_ I had to have that hair enhancer shipped in from France every semester! This was almost as bad as the time him and Moony switched the enhancer with bacon grease from the kitchens. Oh, they got ink bottles to the heads for that little prank. But I was going to plan an attack on him so fierce...

I jumped across the grass, attempting to push him back on the ground, but he dodged my outstretched hands, talking excitedly. I hit the ground with an oomph and sat up, glaring at him.

I'd get him next time.

"When I tutor her, I'll be super charming, and I'll do nice things for her-"

"Er," Moony began nervously. "You should probably stop yelling at her, also."

"What do you think I meant by 'super charming', Moony?"

"I'm just saying," Remus said, holding up his hands. "You yell at Lily alot, even when you say you won't-"

"But she always starts it-"

"No buts," Moony interrupted. "Do you want to date her or not?"

"Fine," James muttered sullenly, running an anxious hand through his already windswept hair.

* * *

><p>We talked over our plan proudly, making sure that we hadn't left anything out.<p>

"I still don't like clause number seven," I frowned, glaring at the beech tree's shadow. "How come he can't hang out with us anymore?"

"He's not blowing us off all the time," Moony clarified. "It's only if Lily wants to hang out with him."

"Oh okay," I said sarcastically, crossing my arms. "If Evans wants to hang out with him, which will probably never happen—"

"Sirius," Moony warned tiredly.

"—she just automatically gets to hang out with him even if he has plans with us, who have been his friends for his whole life, when _she's_ spent her whole life insulting him?"

The others either didn't mind, or didn't want to argue with me (because I always win arguments), and they ignored my complaint.

"What do I do if something goes wrong, what's the emergency clause?" James asked, swallowing nervously as he realized this plan didn't have one.

Moony shrugged. "There is none. It's all or nothing, mate."

We were all silent, James looking more worried with each passing minute. I don't blame him. If I was about to commit myself to one girl who didn't even like me for the rest of my life, passing up countless long-legged, pink-lipped girls who would gladly share a snog in the broom closet after supper, I would probably be a little worried also. Although Jamesie was probably more worried about risking all of his feelings and then getting rejected...even though this has happened countless times already, so he really shouldn't fret.

Eventually I broke the tense silence.

I sighed, patting him on the back. "Come on Prongsie. You've been dealing with her rejection practically your entire life. What's the worst that can happen if this plan doesn't work? I'll tell you: She hexes you and we make another plan. Don't worry about it."

James exhaled and nodded, giving me a small grin. "Thanks Padfoot. You're right. We'll start tomorrow."

"Great!" I said, nimbly jumping up to my feet. "Now, if you'll excuse me…"

I started off towards the girls that had not left the riverbank, hoping that one of them had been impressed with my patronus enough to meet me behind the blue tapestry after dinner.

"Padfoot," Moony called warningly. "Those are fourth years!"

"Right, and I'm Snape's long lost cousin. Very funny, Moony!" I called over my shoulder, clearly spotting the long-legged and pink-lipped Marlene McKinnon and making a beeline for her.

"I'm not joking!"

I sighed and turned around exasperatedly. "Moony, I see McKinnon right by that rock there. She is _definitely _not a fourth year."

"No, she's not," Remus agreed. "But her cousin is, and so are all her cousin's friends. Marlene offered to tutor them in Charms."

"Well, she is very charming."

"Sirius, I'm telling you going over there is not a good idea, it will give all those fourth years the wrong idea and—"

"Save it for someone who cares, Moon, in the meantime…"

"Fine! Feel free to go flirt with fourteen year olds, Sirius. Have fun!"

"I will!"

Moony grumbled under his breath as I pranced off around the Black Lake, feeling proud to have won another argument.

Sirius: 1, Moony: Zero

Told you I never lose.

As I got closer to the group of girls, all the fourth years began to whisper excitedly, watching me with wide eyes as I made my way over to them.

"Guys? Hello? What's wrong?" Marlene asked, looking around at the young girls in confusion.

"Hello, ladies," I said, tossing them a casual smile.

They all giggled in response.

While this may serve to unnerve some blokes, I've had countless one-sided conversations with beautiful girls who I've never heard speak, unless you count, "haha" or "heehee" as legitimate words.

McKinnon, on the other hand, only giggles sometimes, and the rest of her time is spent forming long and coherent sentences.

I like to think this is because she's skilled in having one-sided conversations also, what with all of the blokes she's probably talked to who have done nothing but drool over her (I say this because sometimes I get the urge to drool over her, and Sirius Black does not drool over just anybody), and not because she is not affected by me. Because if you could see her in Transfiguration when she catches me staring at her with my 'come kiss me' eyes, you would think I affect her quite a lot.

When she saw me, she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, so you're the reason why they can't think of the charm that summons something. Since you're the only thing they can seem to focus on, why don't you tell them the answer?"

I smirked at her. "Fine. The answer is, _Accio_. You use this charm when you desperately need something, and don't have it with you at the moment. For example, I would say, _Accio Marlene's lips_."

A collective gasp went around the group, along with some more giggles.

Marlene struggled to hold back a grin as she quickly said, "The charm only works if you have your wand in your hand…_thankfully_."

"Oh, come on, McKinnon, you don't really mean that," I said, arranging my face into a fake pout. "Wouldn't you like to kiss me?"

She stared at me for a moment before answering, her cheeks flushed from either my presence or the hot sun, I couldn't really tell. "No, I wouldn't, not in front of all of my cousin's friends."

A grin sidled its way onto my face, and I shrugged. "I guess I'll just have to wait until you're alone."

"I guess you will."

I gave her one last, long, lingering look before saying, "Later McKinnon," and strutting away from the group, towards the library where there were always one or two cute bookworms willing to help me study.

And by study, I mean snog.


	3. Sparks Fly

"_Love is friendship set on fire."_

_-Unknown _

* * *

><p>I sat on the floor surrounded by countless pieces of parchment crumpled up into balls. Smudges of ink covered my tired fingers and books were thrown open all over the hearth rug. I groaned in frustration as yet another one of the Arithmancy charts didn't match up and angrily ripped my paper in half, throwing it haphazardly into the fire.<p>

I admit it, Arithmancy is my worst subject.

_Absolute_ worst, as in this subject is worse than lying to Dumbledore, getting beaten half to death by the Whomping Willow, and getting expelled from Hogwarts all in one day.

Of course, it doesn't help that throughout the whole class, Alice hisses into my ear all of the reasons why she thinks I should snog Toerag, and as soon as we leave that class, Marlene meets up with us and talks about how many times James said my name, never clarifying if he used it in an insult, which I'm sure he did.

"_Lily, I don't know why you hate him so much, he's really matured."_

"_I lost count after he said your name for the fifteenth time, Lily!"_

"_Evans, did you know that The Jinx Brothers like girls who are nice, funny, and sweet? I guess that rules you out." _

"_I really doubt he meant that to be so mean, he's nice to everyone else."_

"_Maybe you should stop yelling at him so much. Maybe then he would stop insulting you, yeah?"_

I groaned, shaking my head. Everyone thought that James Potter: Head Boy and devilishly handsome Quidditch Star was an angel. It's not like I lashed out at him for no reason! He always instigated a fight, or annoyed me until I couldn't take it anymore, or tossed an insult my way that was so harsh it was all I could do not to start crying and hex his mouth permanently closed.

And it was my fault that we got in fights so often?

Please.

If Alice and Marlene were around him as much as I was, they'd hate him too! Instead, they just saw his charming smile and his sparkling hazel eyes and his sure fingers that were constantly playing with something, whether it be a snitch, a quill, or a girl's hair.

You'd _think_ Alice and Marlene would be the ones to try and get with James, as much as they gush about him. However, ever since I had my aforementioned crisis of character, Alice and Marlene have never given up hope that I will indulge his deepest fantasies, no matter how many times I've told them I came to my senses.

I shook my head, clearing out all thoughts of Potter, because I should never think about James Potter that much, especiallyif I'm trying to do homework. As I began to scribble another chart from my numerology book, I sniffed the air curiously, wondering why the scent of smoke was in the air. Out of the corner of my eye, I realized that a spark from my burning homework had jumped from the fireplace onto the rug and was now on fire. My eyes widened in horror.

Okay, Lily, don't panic. Don't panic, just…

"Damn!" I exclaimed, sending papers and textbooks flying as I searched frenziedly for my wand. "Damn, damn, _damn_!" _Where_ had I put that blasted stick? I glanced nervously at the still growing fire and abandoned my panicked search for the wand, attempting to beat the flames out with my hand instead.

Needless to say that was a terrible idea.

I gasped with pain, withdrawing my hand quickly as the flames scalded my white skin. "Oh, _bloody hell_!" I cursed blowing frantically on my hand, and trying to stop hysterical tears from forming as I continued to turn the Head Dorm upside down and the flames got brighter.

Not under the couch, not behind the couch, not in the flower vase, not in my bag, not under that pillow-

"_Accio wand_!" I screamed desperately, after opening every drawer, looking under every chair, and overturning every pillow. When my wand did not come to me, I bit my lip angrily, stamping my foot at my own stupidity and watching the rug catch fire helplessly.

I was going to burn down the castle. I was going to burn down the castle, get demoted from Head Girl and be expelled forever! As these thoughts crossed my distraught mind, the door swung open and James stepped in the room, whistling cheerily.

"Evans, I-_what the_-_Aguamenti_!"

I did not think I had ever been happier to see him.


	4. Try, Try Again

"_Love is like a game, if you lose the game, you play again."_

_-Unknown_

* * *

><p>I strolled down the hall with my hands in my pockets whistling aimlessly. I mean, I was going to <em>show <em>Lily how much she meant to me. How brilliant is that?

I swear, when Padfoot does things like this, that are so right, it makes up for everything he's ever done wrong.

Which is a lot of things. Believe me.

I was so happy, I even tossed Emmeline Vance a smile, and Merlin remembers how awful _that _date went.

I opened the door to the Heads Dorms, climbing inside with a big grin plastered on my face, the mantra of "Whatever you do, don't get mad," repeating in my head in Moony's voice.

I expected to see Evans slaving fruitlessly over her Arithmancy homework. I even expected to see her throw a little glare my way. Maybe a matching scowl.

I did not expect to see her standing there, holding a red and inflamed hand _watching _the rug catch on fire while it looked like a tornado had devastated the rest of the room.

"Evans, I—_what_ _the_—_Aguamenti!"_

The glorious stream of water shot from my wand, dousing the fire and leaving only a black, scorched mark where the flames had once been.

She sighed gratefully, cradling her injured hand as I took in the mess. An upended ink bottle was leaking out onto the floor, the books and parchment were strewn all over the room, her satchel was completely dumped out, and both of the armchairs had their cushions pulled out, not to mention the couch's stuffing was practically coming out _and _every drawer in the room was hanging open.

"Evans…" I said, breaking the silence, in a dumbfounded voice. "What did you do?"

She exhaled shakily, giving me the glare that I was expecting when I walked in. "_I _didn't do anything!" She exclaimed defensively, her voice getting shrill. "It was the sodding fire! It caught my fire on homework—I mean, my homework on fire, and, and it got the rug, and I couldn't find my bleeding wand!"

I stared at her in disbelief.

Was she serious?

"It's in your back pocket, Evans."

She stared at me for a minute, her eyes wide and unbelieving before exhaling loudly, and blushing as tears began to spill onto her cheeks. "I'm so _stupid_! And now I'm going to be relegated from Head Girl! This is a disaster. Oh, when Prof-Professor McGonagall finds out…" She collapsed into the couch, sobbing freely into a pillow. "They'll be so m-mad at-at me," She hiccoughed.

I watched her apprehensively as she cried. What was I supposed to do? This is exactly why we put an emergency clause into every one of our plans, in case something like this happened. I mean, throw me in a broom closet with an angry girl, and I'd know exactly what to say, how to smile, and where to put my hands. But throw me in a closet with a sobbing mess? I wouldn't know where to start! I cursed Moony for being so uncharacteristically dumb. This was me and Evans we were talking about. Of _course _something was going to go wrong!

Should I try to comfort her and risk getting hexed, or simply wait out her tears? How long would she cry anyways? Was this a nervous breakdown? Could I just ask her what was wrong? Maybe talking was a bad idea; should I simply conjure a tissue?

Hundreds of questions zipped through my mind before I finally cleared my throat quietly and Lily froze, as if she had just realized what she was doing and who she was doing it in front of.

Not knowing what else to do, and at a loss for words for the first time in my life, I began to clean up the mess, waving my wand to put the cushions and the contents of Lily's bag back where they belonged. I kept my eyes averted from Lily as she struggled to compose herself, muttering "_Tergeo,_" to try and clear up the ink stain and frowning when it still left a greasy dark grey splotch.

"Look, Evans," I said, after her sniffling had subsided. "You won't be expelled just because the rug accidentally caught fire."

She frowned and looked away, chewing on her lip.

As I continued to neatly stack the books and different parchment pieces I said, "And Burn-Healing Paste will work wonders for your hand. Just ask Madame Pomfrey for some."

"I can't ask Madame Pomfrey," she said in irritation. "She'll ask me what happened and then I'll have to tell her about almost burning the Dorms down and—"

"Okay, okay," I said soothingly, hoping she wouldn't start crying again. "I'll get some for you. In the meantime, keep it wrapped up."

"How will you get some paste from the nurse without attracting suspicion?" Lily asked worriedly.

Ignoring her question, I held up a parchment paper that was soggy and unreadable from the jet of water he had bombarded it with.

"Er…don't be mad, but I think I ruined your homework."

She rolled her eyes and mumbled. "It doesn't matter; I'm going to fail that class anyway. Besides, I think my homework is still in my Numerology book."

I opened her book and found a paper even more indecipherable than the one that was currently disintegrating in my hand.

"_This_ is your homework?" I asked, a smile tugging at my lips. No wonder she was failing, she couldn't even read the chart what with all the notes and scribbles she'd covered it with.

"_Yes,_" she snapped, standing up and gathering her things testily. "And I would appreciate it if you didn't laugh!"

"I'm not laughing," I said immediately, mustering every ounce of strength I had in my Quidditch-toned body to keep my face neutral. I could _not_ mess this up. "I just…I mean, when is it due?"

"Tomorrow morning," she said, a hint of hysteria edging into her sweet, sweet voice again. "So if you'll excuse me I'm going to go work on it."

As she snatched the paper from my hand and scooped up all her books, I spoke again. "Evans…you know if you need it, I can tutor you in Arithmancy."

She snorted as she walked to her room. "The last thing I want is you to tutor me, Potter!"

"Sometimes you need things you don't want," I called after her, catching a glimpse of worry on her face before she slammed the door shut. "And you're welcome, for putting out the fire before the whole bloody room burnt down!"

She didn't answer and I sighed, tapping my hands agitatedly against my leg, and repeating "Whatever you do, don't get mad," over and over again inside my head as I stared at the dying fire that was the color of her hair.

* * *

><p>"She was up <em>half the night<em> and you didn't try to help?" Peter asked in disbelief.

"Are you sure you shouldn't offer to tutor her again?" Moony asked worriedly as he took some scrambled eggs.

"Look," I said, sighing. "I offered once and she got mad. Part of the plan was to never, ever get mad and the best way to do that is to avoid any thing that will make Lily get mad at me because I'll get mad too."

Sirius nodded, filling his breakfast plate with bacon. "I get you, Prongsie. If you would've asked her again, she would've have accused you of pestering her and you would have ended up getting hexed."

"Exactly," I said, relieved that at least one of my friends understood his reasoning. "It's not that I didn't want to, it's just that I decided I shouldn't. Besides, if she really needs help, she'll ask. Evans would never fail a class just because she didn't want help from me."

At least I don't think she would...

Moony frowned. "Are you sure that's for the best though?"

Sirius groaned. "Moony, why don't you just let it go," he exclaimed through a mouth full of crispy bacon strips. My mouth curved upward as Moony's curved down.

"Why don't you just chew with your mouth closed?" Remus retorted, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "At least you saved her from the fire," he said, turning his attention back to me. "That will definitely help—"

"Speaking of the fire," I started, reminded of the crying Evans on the couch, "whose idea was is to not have an emergency clause again?"

Moony sighed. "Prongs, I really didn't think we'd need one on this one."

"Yeah, well she was sobbing over Merlin knows what and I had no backup, no backup _plan_, not even an escape, Moony! I had no escape!"

He gave me one of his looks that I've seen him give Padfoot a million times when he's being a baby about one thing or another, so I rolled my eyes and went back eating, having sufficiently chewed Moony out for now.

After a moment of eating sausage and listening to Padfoot chomp loudly next to me and Moony and Wormtail argue about the homework for Potions or something, I quickly lost interest. I peered down the table at Lily, who was sitting in her normal seat in between Alice and Marlene. However, she was not chatting it up excitedly with them as she normally does. They were chatting it up excitedly while she stared blearily down at her breakfast plate, a small pout on her face and her hair slightly tangled.

"She does look bloody adorable like this, doesn't she mates?" I asked, smiling slightly.

A chorus of "Oh yeah" and "Mmhmm" met my ears automatically and I smiled wider, continuing to observe her.

Of course it was my bloody luck that she chose that moment to look up and see me gawking at her. Her eyes flashed at me, her mouth turned into a scowl and I huffed angrily, interrupting a heated debate between my mates over who was going to win the next Quidditch World Cup.

"I didn't even do anything, why does she automatically get that look on her face, like she's just found out an owl pissed on her pillow or something?"

Padfoot put down the biscuit he was about to throw at Wormtail for saying he supported the Tornados, and opened his mouth to answer.

The benches began scraping back before he could however, and Sirius frantically began shoving more bacon into his mouth before joining us on our way to Transfiguration.

I guess I'll never know the answer.


	5. The Perks of Being in Evans Free Zones

"_We always long for forbidden things and desire what is denied us."_

_-Unknown _

* * *

><p>As I walked through the door to Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall handed me my graded homework essay from last week.<p>

I got an Acceptable, of course.

Thank you, Moony.

"Morning, McKinnon," I said as we took our normal seats at the back of the classroom, exchanging a look of surprise with my friends. Today, Marlene was sitting in the desk in front of me, when she normally sat all the way to the other side of the classroom towards the front. "What brings you over here to our neck of the woods?"

She shrugged, turning around to smile at me. "Just wanted to try something different today, I guess."

I smirked at her, leaning back confidently in my chair. "So basically, you want to date me."

She rolled her eyes at his comment and sighed in exasperation as Prongs and Moony began to snicker. "Just because I sit in a different spot that just happens to be closer to you does not automatically mean that I find you attractive."

"But don't you?"

"And furthermore," she said, tossing her long wavy hair over her shoulder and ignoring my question. "You _know_ that Lily has forbidden me to even be friends with you."

"So let's be more than friends," I said, flashing my most charming smile at Marlene.

A smile twitched at the corners of her pink lips. "She's my best friend, Black."

And with that she turned back around in her seat and began reading over her graded essay.

"I hate it when they play hard-to-get," I muttered, grinning at my friends.

"Trust me," James teased, rolling his eyes, "we hate it too."

"It's absolutely excruciating to watch," Remus complained a smile tugging at his lips.

I punched both of them good-naturedly, but my retort was cut off as Professor McGonagall entered the room and began class.

"Class, please settle down."

Remus took out a piece of parchment to take notes, Peter took one out to copy Remus' notes onto, James put his paper away and took out his wand, and I balanced on the back legs of my chair, licking a sugar quill.

"Today," she said, surveying me disapprovingly through her spectacles, "you will be learning—Mr. Black please do not suck on that in my classroom."

"You said the same thing last night, Minnie," I grinned, letting my front legs hit the ground, as the other Marauders began to snigger.

Sirius: 1, McGonagall: Zilch.

I was definitely going to win today.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor," she said without batting an eye at the collective groan that went around the room.

Hmm, well played, Minnie-Muffin, maybe I spoke too soon.

Sirius: 1, McGonagall: 1

"Now, as I was saying, you will be learning about the different circumstances in which a person may transfigure into a werewolf."

We all exchanged glances, smiling slyly. Remus and Peter put away their paper and James took out a piece to play hangman on. I continued to suck on my sugar quill because I am a Marauder and we break all the rules.

Halfway through McGonagall's lecture, as James was probably wondering how Lily was faring in Arithmancy, I got tired of staring at the back of Marlene's head.

"Give me some of that paper," I murmured, interrupting the hangman game, where Remus was trying to guess.

"No," James whined, frowning at me. "Use your own."

"F?" Remus asked. James shook his head gleefully and drew a leg.

"I just need a corner," I persisted, glancing at Marlene again. "I have an idea."

"G?"

James scowled at Moony and filled in the letter G. "Sirius, what if we want to play another game and we realize that we need the corner you took?"

"Just get some from Wormy's bag," I said, pointing at the snoring lump.

"The word is Sugarplum," Remus announced proudly.

"Son of a bleeding hippogriff," James muttered, angrily giving Remus another point. "Fine, Sirius, take the sodding paper."

"Thanks!" I said gratefully, carefully tearing off half of a piece (ignoring James' cry of protest: "Padfoot! That's _way _more than a corner!") and writing:

**This lecture is really interesting, yeah?**

I folded it carefully, aimed, and tossed it right over Marlene's shoulder, making it land directly on her notes.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Black!" Professor McGonagall said harshly, "For throwing paper at unsuspecting girls!"

The room erupted into groans again and I rolled my eyes.

Damn.

Sirius: 1, McGonagall: 2

She was just winning because she was mad at me because of the comment I made earlier.

Normally, I get the upper hand over all my teachers.

Marlene waited until Professor McGonagall was turned around towards the board before passing it back.

I read it excitedly.

_Hardly. And way to go Black, don't you know that  
>you're never supposed to throw paper at unsuspecting<br>girls? That's just common sense. Oh wait…  
>you have no common sense. <em>

I smirked at her smart aleck response and quickly replied, tossing the note back to her and so on and so on.

**That's right, I don't. I can never think straight when  
>you're around. <strong>

_I guess it's a good thing Lily made me promise not to see  
>you. You'd fail all your classes and end up living at<br>your parent's house for life._

**Hah! You admitted it! You'd date me if your best friend  
>wasn't such a control freak. (P.S. Moony and Prongs would<br>never let that happen.)**

_Actually, I don't think I admitted anything. Must be  
>wishful thinking, Black. <em>

**You bet. Can I at least flirt shamelessly with you in all  
>Evans-free zones?<strong>

_I don't know, can you?_

**May I? Pretty please? With a nice little  
>sugar quill flavored kiss on top?<strong>

"Class is dismissed," Professor McGonagall announced, ending one of the easiest Transfiguration lessons of my life. I mean, come on! When your best mate's a werewolf, you already know everything worth knowing.

I began packing up my things as slowly as possible, keeping one eye on McKinnon as she folded her parchment neatly and placed it in her bag.

"Come on, Padfoot," Remus called impatiently from the door way where he, James, and Peter were leaning.

"I'll be there as soon as McKinnon gives me an answer," I said, still waiting for her reply.

Instead, she smiled teasingly at me and tucked the note into her pocket.

"Is that a no?" I asked, pouting slightly.

"I dunno," she said airily as she breezed out of the classroom. "Who could deny a sugar quill flavored kiss?"

With that, she was gone and I was grinning widely, hurrying out of the classroom to catch up with my best mates to tell them what she had said.

* * *

><p>"How come you aren't eating, Prongsie?" I asked thickly through a mouthful of the most buttery, most delicious mashed potatoes I'd ever had in my whole bloody life.<p>

_Merlin_ I love the Hogwarts house elves.

And that's saying something, because Sirius Black does not love any old house elf, especially if his name is Kreacher.

Git.

"Maybe he's just too disgusted by your eating habits," Remus muttered darkly, wrinkling his nose as I stuck out a potato coated tongue.

Hey, you would do the same if Moony constantly criticized the way you eat.

Peter giggled at Jamesie from across the dinner table. "I bet Prongs is worried about his lovely Lily!" he sniveled. "She's not at the table!"

Moony raised an eyebrow. "She's not?"

James bit his lip guiltily. "She wasn't at lunch either. This is all my fault, she's probably trying to do her dumb Arithmancy homework. I have to go help her before she starves," he said, gathering up a napkin full of rolls, steak fingers and pastries.

"Wha—Prongs!" I exclaimed indignantly. "Stay here!" I glared up at him, intending to convince him to stay, but was momentarily distracted as I realized that a pair of brilliant blue eyes were trained on my face from down the table.

"Can't, sorry," he said hurriedly, snagging a goblet of pumpkin juice as he stood up, "besides, bringing her dinner counts as doing nice things for her, and it will make her like me. I think. Oh, Moony! Do you have that burn paste I asked you for earlier?"

I turned my face to the side, grinning as Marlene quickly looked down at her plate and then furtively back upwards at me from under her long lashes, smiling slightly.

Remus pulled the tube out of his pack. "Here you go compliments of yours truly. But just because I have access to Madame Pomfrey's cabinet doesn't mean I'm going to steal every remedy Evans needs. She can get it herself next time, deal?"

I smirked and Marlene bit her lip.

Oh, she was just _begging_ for me.

"Right, right," James said, tossing him a smile, "thanks a million, Moony!"

James exited the hall swiftly and I sat up straighter, wiping the excess food off of my mouth. "Excuse me mates, I have to go flirt shamelessly with Marlene. She gave me permission to if Evans wasn't around."

Remus furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't think—"

"See you later!"


	6. Arithmancy for Dummies

"_To dream a dream is to awaken your inner self. Your wants, your desires, your passions are given life."_

_-Unknown_

* * *

><p>I groaned yet again, scribbling out what I had just written with frustration. There was simply no way I would ever be able to pass Arithmancy if this continued. And to make things worse, my hand was now throbbing steadily, making it very hard to concentrate on the work I didn't fully understand in the first place. I looked around in dismay at the books, scrolls, and scratched out charts covering the area around me and the small coffee table sitting in front of the couch, and ran an agitated hand through my hair, messing it up even more than it already was, sighing loudly.<p>

"Er…" a male voice sounded from the doorway and I jumped, groaning loudly when I saw Potter standing in the doorway.

"Oh, it's you," I muttered, immediately attempting to smooth down my hair.

"Yep," he said, smiling impishly. "I brought you food."

I was taken aback for a moment, but quickly masked it over. "Oh…thanks, but I'm not hungry."

He rolled his eyes and set the food down next to my book. I looked at it warily, wondering if he had charmed it to do something horrid. I chanced a glance at him and found that he was watching me expectantly, confirming my suspicions. He had probably rigged it to explode once I swallowed it or something. Although I did love steak fingers…

"Don't starve yourself just because it's from me."

"I'm not—"

"How'd Arithmancy go this morning?" He asked, changing the subject quickly.

My mouth formed into a thin white line. "I'd rather not talk about that, if you don't mind," I said crisply, turning back to my work.

"Right, okay," Potter said, turning towards his room. "Just don't stay up too late and remember to eat. I know that you missed lunch."

"What are you, stalking me now?" I asked incredulously, staring at him.

He snorted and said, "It's called caring, Lily." My smirk faltered and I began to write again, embarrassed for no reason. When I didn't answer, because I didn't know how to answer, Potter set a small tube of burn paste down by my dinner. "Smear this on your burn, and it should be better by morning."

My eyes flicked towards him quickly, clouded with confusion and disbelief, and he turned away, walking to his room.

I should have said thank you, I should have at least smiled, after he had brought me sustenance and relief, but for some reason, I couldn't get myself to do it.

Call it pride, call it rudeness, call it stubbornness; for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to show appreciation towards the bane of my existence, even if he was being uncharacteristically kind, and even if I did feel the stirrings of it deep down inside.

To some girls, Potter appears in a swirl of strong arms and soft lips, but for the longest time, he always appeared to me in a storm of balled fists and harsh words.

Tonight, however…

Tonight he had come in a whirl of your welcomes and charm smiles.

As soon as his door clicked shut, I grabbed the burn paste, examining the bottle curiously, wondering how he'd gotten his hands on it. I squeezed a small dollop onto my hand, bracing myself for the sting as I rubbed it into my injured hand. Instead of pain, however, a cool numbness spread over it, making it feel a thousand times better. I sighed gratefully, wiggling my fingers without the slightest inkling of pain; encouraged by my positive response to the medication, I turned to the food, which was still sitting innocently on a napkin next to my book. Biting my lip, I took a bite of the roll, chewing carefully. I swallowed slowly, gripping my wand tightly and preparing for the worst.

The worst never came.

I looked around furtively, feeling extremely foolish for acting like a child and assuming the worst of Potter.

I cast a glance towards Potter's closed door before grabbing a steak finger hungrily.

* * *

><p><em>Scribble. Scribble. Crinkle. Scratchscratchscratch. Crinkle. Sigh. Scribble. Scribble. Crinkle. Scratchscratchscratch. Crinkle. Sigh. Scribble. Scribble…<em>

My routine continued for the better part of the night, repeating over and over as outcomes didn't make sense and simple charts simply made my brain implode. As I drew another chart, turned the page of my reference book and had to scratch it out again, I threw my quill down on the coffee table and slammed my head backwards into the couch cushions, wincing as this only intensified my budding headache. I sighed loudly, staring at the burning embers of the fire in defeat. There was no way I could pass this class; my past two papers had been returned to me with a big red D scrawled at the top, and the assignments before that had barely scraped an Acceptable, some of them falling into the realms of Poor. I closed my eyes and imagined what my parent's reactions would be if I ever brought home a paper that had received a T.

I could picture it now; standing in the kitchen, handing them the awful piece of paper. They would think it was a glowing letter from one of my teachers telling them all about how their daughter the witch, their Lily, Head Girl of Hogwarts was excelling in everything she did. They might think T meant Terrific instead of Troll. Disappointment would crease their faces as Petunia peeked around the corner with her very own troll named Vernon, laughing darkly at my failure.

The grandfather clock standing between the two windows that overlooked the Black Lake chimed loudly, signifying midnight, and I was jolted out of my pitiful thoughts. I groaned loudly, slamming my book down on the coffee table, wincing at the deafening sound it made in the still of the room. A few moments later, I heard the door to James' bedroom squeak slightly as it opened, his sock clad feet padding to the couch.

I refused to look at him, refused to let my (ex?) arch-enemy since the first day of school see that I was struggling. How was I supposed to be sure that his unexpected offerings of help and uncalled for gestures of bringing me food were not all part of some elaborate prank he was planning?

I knew this suspicion was stupid the minute it entered my head, but the indignant voices of my two best friends still played in my mind.

"_Come on, Lily," _Alice's voice echoed. "_He's finally matured. You know that as well as I do."_

Marlene's resounded right after, saying, _"He's totally over those dumb pranks; I think he really likes you, Lily! This is the opportunity of a lifetime, everyone would be jealous!" _

Oh Merlin, I was definitely suffering from lack of sleep.

"Evans, aren't you tired of this?"

I bit my lip and didn't meet his inquisitive gaze, glaring at my paper with newfound vigor. Yes, I was bloody tired of bloody Arithmancy, and yes, I would very much like to go to bed and stop hearing my friends' voices, but that wasn't really an option when an assignment I could not afford to fail was due tomorrow afternoon.

"Lily?"

"Yes, I'm tired, Toerag," I snapped, letting out a sharp exhale. "But this has to be done before I go to sleep, so if you wouldn't mind…"

James snorted derisively, and I fastened my scowl onto him instead of the hopeless chart. "What?" I snarled.

"I meant tired of fighting."

I stared at him, my glower melting away into an expression of pure shock.

Was he really…_reaching out _to me? Was James Potter, the one who never failed to take the low road, attempting to navigate the high road, while I, Lily Evans, sat stubbornly and refused to move? And yeah, sure, I was tired of fighting, I had been for the past few years, it's not like I enjoy engaging in violent wordplay.

Was he saying that he was tired of it too?

Alice's voice came back briefly, singing, _"I told you so…"_ before I pushed her out of my mind.

I looked back to my homework silently, all of my stubborn resolve crumbling as I stared incomprehensibly at the thousandth chart I'd tried to decode that night and my eyes began to sting in sour frustration.

He watched me blinking furiously for a moment, the ticking of the grandfather clock echoing around the still room before he cleared away some crumpled up mistakes and sat down gingerly on the cushion beside me. Slowly, he reached out a hand and tugged my homework away from me.

Defeated, I let my hand and my pride fall limply to the couch and allowed his hazel eyes to skim over the assignment and pick out all of my errors.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught him desperately trying to hold back a grin.

"Well, for starters, you're using the Chaldean Conversion Chart instead of the Pythagorean Conversion Chart," James said after a moment. "That makes everything about ten times harder."

I furrowed my eyebrows, sighing loudly. "But, I tried using that chart and it didn't make sense. See, the question? It asks: 'If Godric Gryffindor would have used Arithmancy before allegedly stealing Ragnuk the First's sword, why might he have rethought his decision?' I used that chart the first time and it told me that Ragnuk was kind, loving, and friendly, see?"

James perused my work quickly before finding the problem. "No, see, Evans, you added up all the letters of 'Ragnuk the First'."

Oh, so _that's _what he was aiming at! He thought it would be funny if I got a T on this paper; maybe it would put me in my place a little?

I huffed loudly, frowning as I snatched my paper back. "That's what you're supposed to do, Toerag! Look, if you're trying to make me fail, it's not funny—"

"Evans," James said tersely through his teeth, "goblins have no last names. Ragnuk the First is his title, _Ragnuk_ is his name. If you only use the chart for Ragnuk you get…yep, listen: 'indicates strong determination and can be arrogant and conceited'."

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I realized I assumed the worst of him yet again, and I sheepishly penciled in the answer, forcing myself to mumble a barely audible, "Sorry…and thank you."

"What's the next question?" he asked, smiling broadly.

We got through the rest of the answers fairly quickly, each one making more and more sense to me as James explained it in a patient voice, his smooth tone easing my nerves, and even making me laugh occasionally.

Finally, James yawned loudly, leaning back into the couch cushions as I wrote the answer to the final question.

"Thank you for helping me," I said, sighing in satisfaction as I shoved my book and my completed homework assignment into my bag for tomorrow morning.

For once I was not feeling a sense of dread for my upcoming Arithmancy class.

"Just think," James said, ruffling his hair and somehow making it look better than before. "If you would have let me help you earlier, you could have been done before dinner."

"You don't have to be arrogant about it," I frowned, rubbing my eyes vigorously and sinking into the comfortable couch next to James.

"Right, sorry," he said absent-mindedly. I opened my eyes and found him staring at me, with the look that Amos Diggory used to give me in the light of the Three Broomsticks in the middle of sixth year. My eyes flickered up to his and he caught me in a hazel gaze for a moment before tearing his eyes away. "Speaking of dinner," he said, clearing his throat. "I'm starving. Aren't you?"

I nodded weakly. "Yeah, but I'm more tired."

"Hey, my motto is, 'better to be tired and full than tired and hungry'. Let's face it: We'll already be dog tired tomorrow morning, what'll one more hour do? We need nutrition you know, otherwise—"

"And where are you planning to get this nutrition?" I interrupted, incredulously surveying him. He could not be insinuating what I thought he was insinuating.

James took my question as an agreement to a post-midnight snack and grinned mischievously, I was surprised to feel the corner of my mouth twitch in return. "You just leave that to me. I'll be right back."

As he stood up, I hissed, "James! You can't _steal _food from the Kitchens!"

"Yes, I can," he said, laughing lightly and stretching his tired muscles. "I'm Head Boy."

As he bounded out of the Heads Dorms, I sat up, calling after him, "Exactly! You're Head Boy! You can't do anything illegal! And don't get caught!"

James paused, peeking his head back in the door. "It's so sweet of you to care Lily, but you oughtn't worry. Even if I get expelled, I'll still come visit you."

"I'm not—" I began, but James retreated into the dark hallway swiftly and the door swung shut behind him before I could finish my sentence.

I continued to stare at the closed door, long after he'd left, trying to think of a reason for my bitten lip and nervously churning stomach that didn't involve worry for James Potter's well-being.

After a few uncomfortable moments, I came up with the answer. If he got caught, McGonagall or Dumbledore would realize that he was carrying too much food for just himself, and would be disappointed in me for allowing him to break school rules.

That had to be it. Why else would I be wishing for him to return quickly without anything bad happening?

I settled back into the couch to wait for my snack, pushing the strange nervousness out of my mind.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes, the door squeaked open again and James hopped nimbly inside, his arms laden with delicious smelling food and a goblet of juice in each hand.

I jumped up immediately, the apprehensive beating of my heart slowing to normal as he ambled over to me, and then picking back up again as he smiled widely. "Oh thank goodness," I said, eagerly looking at the food he dumped on the table. "I'm starving."

My eyes hungrily roved over everything, and it seemed like there was every food imaginable in the heap, from warm chocolate chip cookies to bananas to cucumber sandwiches.

I snagged a treacle tart quickly and began snacking on it instantly as James chose a drumstick instead.

"This is nice," I said shyly, after several silent moments had passed.

He nodded, eyeing me over his glasses as he said, almost cautiously, "Some might call it a date."

I raised my eyebrows, laughing softly. "And who would call this that?"

"Come on, Evans," he said, shooting me an easy smile. For some reason, it made me mad that he would use my surname in such a relaxed setting, after we had been calling each other by our first names all night. "A moonlit dinner that two beautiful people are sharing all alone…" he paused to sweep his eyes over me, and I felt my skin prickle everywhere his gaze landed. "There's something very romantic about it all."

I laughed nervously. "Really? I never would have noticed if you hadn't said something."

He squinted his eyes at me as I took a large gulp from my goblet.

"Now that I've said something, do you notice it?" he asked, cocking his head to the side and smiling slightly.

I swallowed uncertainly, noticing for the first time that night that his white shirt hugged his body in all the right places.

Oh, Merlin.

I took another large gulp of juice, wishing I could just drown myself right now, because it is very dangerous when Lily Evans thinks about James Potter this way.

"Lily?" he said, his smooth voice drifting across the room and dancing with my ears.

"What?" I asked, a little too quickly to be casual.

"You never answered my question," he reminded me, putting down his food and scooting closer to me, placing the cool back of his hand against my cheek. "Are you feeling alright?"

No. No, I was not feeling _alright!_ Not when he was this close to me, but I couldn't move away. Not when this went against every fiber of my being, but I didn't really care.

"I guess," I said, avoiding his eyes. "Your proximity is a bit off-putting."

"Oh really?" he asked, tilting my chin up with his skilled fingers and forcing his smoldering eyes upon mine. "Would you like me to be closer to you, or farther away?"

I fully intended to say "farther away, please". Really, I did. But my vocal chords seemed paralyzed by his straight nose and confusing eyes, and those lips that every girl coveted and were only inches from mine, and so what came out was, "Uh…"

He laughed softly, nodding his head. "Yeah, Evans," and there was that _frustration_ with my last name again, but I ignored it because he seemed to be getting closer. "I've been feeling the same way for a while now."

He ran a thumb over my lips, making chills run down my whole body in rivulets of delicious anticipation. Before I could protest, even though I probably wouldn't have, his lips were on mine, soft and experienced, effortlessly controlling the kiss with a tongue that tasted deliciously like peppermint, despite the fact he had been eating fried chicken.

Suddenly I couldn't think. He was just James, and I was just Lily, and this was just the best kiss of my life.

I pressed myself closer.

_a/n: review please! :)_


	7. A Meal in the Moonlight

"_May the love hiding deep inside your heart, find the love waiting in your dreams."_

_-Unknown_

* * *

><p><em>I don't know what I would do without house elves<em>, I thought as I surveyed them all fondly. Without their delicious food, I would never have the nourishment needed to survive, much less be a Marauder (because that takes a _lot_ of energy). And no offense to Mum, but without our house elf Tacky, me and Dad would be doomed. I mean, one can only eat burnt meat pies for so long before they snap.

"Thanks, Homer," I said gratefully, as the small house elf came running across the stone floor and handed me a sack of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.

"You're welcome, Mister Potter, sir," Homer squeaked, bowing as low as he could until his forehead collided with the stone floor.

"Hey, Homer," I said, patting him on the back, "You don't have to call me sir. We're friends, remember?"

"Right, Mister Potter. Friends. Homer is very sorry, sir. I mean-" he looked terrified that he had called me "sir" again, and I chuckled, patting him on the head.

"Don't worry, Homer. You can call me sir, if you want. Just remember, friends."

"Yes sir," he agreed, his face crinkling up into a smile as he bustled away.

"Excuse me," a tiny voice peeped behind me. "Mister Potter, sir? Binky would like to ask permission to give you a gift."

I turned around curiously and found the tiniest house elf I'd ever laid eyes on struggling to hold up a platter of chicken sandwiches that was bigger than it was.

"Oh, wow!" I said, taking the platter. "Thanks! What was your name?"

"Binky," it said quietly, her nose pressed into the ground.

"Thanks, Binky," I said, smiling as she scurried away. I turned to address the whole room, "I should probably go, so I can bring this food to Lily."

A chorus of "Bye, Mister Potter!" reached my ears, and I waved happily to the house elves in the Kitchens, making my way quickly through tapestries and secret tunnels, trying to ignore the scent of chocolate chips tickling my nostrils.

I entered the Dorm excitedly, anxious to devour some chicken sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies, but stopped short as I spotted Lily.

She was sprawled onto the couch, snoring softly with a small smile swaying across her features. Her red hair was almost glittering in the moonlight, contrasting greatly with her shining ivory skin.

In other words, she was beautiful. So beautiful in this moment, that I would choose her over a Veela if given the choice.

Probably.

I put the food down quietly, debating whether I should wake her up or not. I mean, on one hand, she might get so mad that I woke her up that she would hex me, and on the other hand there was a chance (a slim chance, yeah, but still a chance) that she wouldn't mind eating a romantic, moonlit dinner with me. After standing helplessly for many long minutes, I trotted to my room and retreived the mirror from my trunk, peering into it and loudly saying, "Sirius!"

He didn't come. Probably having wonderful dreams about his latest conquest no doubt.

"Sirius!" I shouted, louder this time. _"Padfoot!"_

Suddenly a disheveled, very grumpy looking Sirius appeared in the mirror.

_"What?"_ he spat, rubbing his eyes vigorously.

"I need some advice," I said, leaning back against my pillows.

"You want my advice?" he asked. "Go back to sleep."

"No, it's about Lily," I said, sighing apprehensively.

He blinked at me. "Are you joking?"

"No..."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" he asked, his gray eyes flashing at me through the mirror. I cringed; having not slept in the Boys' Dormitory at all this year, I had forgotten how much Sirius treasured his "beauty sleep".

"No..." I answered, frowning slightly.

"I'm waking up Moony. He can answer your bloody question."

"Wha-Sirius, wait! I just need to know if I should wake her up to eat a nice dinner with me or let her sleep!" I sighed as Sirius yawned widely.

"I think you should definitely wake her up, mate. Then, when she hexes you, you can know it's from me too. Moony!" he shouted, and a large thud sounded in the background. Sirius began laughing, turning back to the mirror. "He fell off the bed, what a pansy!"

"I don't think you'll be saying the same thing when the full moon rolls around!" a muffled voice yelled from the background, and I heard Peter's sleepy voice as he murmured wildly, "Wuss goin' on?"

"Go back to sleep, Pete; James needs to ask you a question, Moony," Sirius said, tossing the mirror across the room to Moony's bed.

A bleary eyed Remus looked down at me confusedly, his hair sticking up at odd angles. "Is something the matter, Prongs?"

I sighed, running a hand down my face. "No...it's just that Lily and I went the whole night without fighting, and I went to go get us a snack from the Kitchens, but when I got back she was asleep, and I want to wake her up, but I don't want her to get mad at me, so what should I do?"

Remus thought for a minute before shrugging. "I dunno mate, you should do...whatever you feel is best."

I groaned. "Thanks guys, you've been absolutely _no help_ at all!"

"Yes, well, we try."

Sirius began ranting furiously from his bed. "Did he say we were no help? Maybe he should deal with his own problems instead of waking us all up, ungrateful little-" I rolled my eyes and stuck the mirror back in the top drawer of my dresser before walking back out to the common room, where Lily was sleeping. After staring at her for a while longer, I sighed and bent down to wake her up. Besides, if she didn't want to eat, I could always claim I was just waking her up because I didn't want to carry her to her bed without permission. With this plan in mind, I gently shook her shoulder, holding my breath as her eyelids began to flicker open.

Suddenly she shot straight up, looking around confusedly, her eyes fastening on me with horror.

"Lily, it's only me," I said quickly, holding up my hands and backing up slightly. "Don't be scared!"

"No, no…" she mumbled, shaking her head, and swallowing loudly. "It's—I—I'm not scared. Sorry. Had a really weird dream…er—" she broke off and laid her head in her hands tiredly.

"What was it about?" I asked, trying to make conversation once I was sure she wasn't going to start hexing me.

"Nothing," she answered a little too rapidly, picking her head up and looking at me guiltily.

I looked at her suspiciously for a moment, noticing that her lip was being chewed awfully ferociously (which is something she only does in moments of extreme nervousness), but eventually let it go, pointing at the warm cookies and the plate of sandwiches proudly. "Well, at least we have a feast!"

She gasped, her strange behavior disappearing at once as she glared at me. "You stole _all_ of that?"

"I didn't steal it," I said, pouting slightly. "I'm insulted that you think I'm a thief. The house elves _gave _it to me."

"They just hand out food to students?" she asked skeptically.

"Have you ever been down to the Kitchens, Lily? They _love _giving away food."

"Are you sure?" she asked, looking torn between being moral and just being hungry.

"Yes, I'm sure, Lily, can we please eat?" I begged, jutting out my bottom lip. "I'm dying for a cookie."

A smile flitted briefly across her face before she nodded. "Alright."

I dropped to my knees, opening the sack and taking out a warm, gooey, chocolate chip cookie as Lily grabbed a sandwich . "Oh, Merlin," I exclaimed with reverence, eating the whole thing in one huge bite. "This is so good!"

Lily nodded her head appreciatively as she munched on the chicken sandwich happily. "While I may not approve of your methods…I'm quite glad you have them," she said, after a moment, looking at me shyly, her mouth turned up in a tender smile.

I laughed loudly, taking another cookie. "You can thank Sirius for most of them."

"I'd rather not," she said, grimacing slightly, and making me laugh again.

"What?" she asked, grinning at me.

"Nothing, nothing…you're just funny is all, Lily. You know, when you aren't screaming insults at me."

She let out a short laugh. "Excuse me, I think _you_ were the one who told _me_ I wasn't nice, funny, _or_ cute and therefore the Jinx Brothers would never date me."

"I was _so_ lying, Lily," I said, my eyes wide. "It was you know, heat of the moment, you were yelling at me, so I had to think of something mean to say—"

"Well you sure succeeded with that goal," she said, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye before going back to her sandwich.

I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Sorry."

She looked at me in surprise, her mouth slightly open. "Did you just apologize to me?"

I nodded. "Yes…is there something wrong with that?"

As I licked some chocolate off of my lip, I paused, slightly confused. Was it just me, or had her eyes followed my tongue's every move?

She cleared her throat, her cheeks blushing. "No, there's nothing wrong with that, I just…I never thought I'd hear you say that."

"What can I say? I'm a constant surprise."

She laughed, and reached for the last chocolate chip cookie at the same time I did. Our hands brushed and she recoiled immediately, muttering, "Sorry."

I shook my head and handed her the cookie. "Don't be sorry, Lily. Here you are, Milady."

"Thanks," she said softly, catching my eyes in her gaze and keeping them there for a much longer time than normal before standing up. "I should probably get to bed."

I frowned and whined, "Lily…"

"We have classes tomorrow, and I can't afford to fall asleep in Arithmancy, and…"

"Alright," I conceded as she gave me a small smile and padded away to her room. I began making plans to go get my mirror immediately and tell Padfoot how things had turned out. "Hey, Lily?" I called after her, standing up as well.

She paused in the doorway.

"I'm sure the Jinx Brothers would love to date you."

She smiled. "Goodnight James."

I sent her a dazzling smile, calling, "Goodnight my sweet Lily Pad!"

Her tinkling laugh swirled through my ears, invaded my mind, and stayed there, replaying over and over, all night long.

_a/n: SOOOO, did you expect the kissing scene to actually be a dream? Review! _


	8. Shameless Seduction by Sirius Black

"_Love is a feeling that makes you start liking someone more than yourself."_

_-Unknown _

* * *

><p>Defense Against the Dark Arts is a joke.<p>

I mean, come _on_.

Learning how to do defensive spells (like I had been using against Slytherins since third year), learning what to do if you come across a magical beast (like a werewolf), and learning how to produce a patronus (like we were today)?

I knew how to do all of this, ages before Professor Watson even thought about teaching it.

Because of the lack of challenge in this class, I spent all my time watching McKinnon be challenged and thinking up ways to ask her out.

I mean, if I was being honest with myself, I thought about her more than I thought about myself, and that's saying something.

"But this is so easy," I complained loudly (yet again). All I had to do to produce a good patronus was think of the moment I left Number Twelve Grimmauld Place and went to live at the Potters'.

Watson glared at me, a smirk playing on his features. No doubt he thought I was bluffing. "Well then you won't mind demonstrating for the class, will you Mr. Black?" he asked, his smile growing wider.

From behind me, I heard Moony wearily say, "Oh, no."

"Not at all," I said, smiling just as widely back at him. I was never one to back down from a challenge, especially today when I was cranky because a certain someone by the name of Prongs woke me up at an un-Godly hour last night…or this morning? Whatever. The point is, I shouted_ "Expecto Patronum!"_ very smugly. With a flourish of my wand, my patronus erupted in a glow of white light, eliciting gasps and giggles from the girls. It circled Professor Watson twice before disappearing.

His face was priceless.

Sirius: Infinity, Watson: Nil

"Very well then," he said, clearing his throat. "Let us all try."

As the classroom came to life with shouted incantations and swears, I sighed and looked around boredly for something to do. In a far corner of the classroom, I saw McKinnon standing alone, the tip of her tongue protruding out of her mouth in concentration. With a smirk, I sauntered over to her. As she shouted the spell again, a few white sparks flew out of the tip of her wand, and I applauded.

She jumped and spun around. "Oh, it's you, Black," she said, a grin breaking out across her face.

"Morning, McKinnon."

"Good morning," she said, erasing the smile from her face with difficulty and then peering furtively around before going back to trying to produce a patronus. I know, I know, I was breaking the rule about only flirting with her in Evans-Free Zones, but I just couldn't help it! Besides, it's not like Evans was standing right there next to her.

"Don't forget to think of the happiest memory you have," I said helpfully as she tried again fruitlessly.

She turned to me again. "And what did you think of, Black? Do you even have happy memories?" she teased.

"Of course I do," I said, smirking. "All I had to do was think of the first time I saw you."

Her eyes widened, and she dropped the volume of her words. "Sirius," she whispered, her eyes laughing, "if Lily hears you—"

"Lily isn't anywhere near here," I said, watching her steadily.

"Yeah, but she might overhear!" she hissed, still watching the room nervously.

I sighed and said, in my normal voice. "Lily Evans, I am about to make a move on your friend Marlene McKinnon because she is very attractive and I've been wanting to kiss her for the past two weeks. Frankly, I'm getting tired of waiting. So if you can hear me, come on over and put a stop to this, but if you can't, then get out of McKinnon's head so she'll stop worrying." I waited a moment before asking, "Did she hear me?"

She gave a great sigh, and shook her head, not able to hide her smile. "You're lucky she's preoccupied," she said, letting out a giggle. "You are shameless."

"I've been told I should write a book, actually," I informed her, blinding her with my best smile.

"What would you call it?" she asked curiously.

"_Shameless Seduction _by Sirius Black," I decided. "Or, _Where Sirius Black Finally Convinces Marlene McKinnon to Go On a Date with Him while Avoiding the Wrath of her Best Mate..._by Sirius Black."

"I like the first one," she said, abandoning her attempts at producing a patronus.

"Yeah? Moony and I came up with the title together."

"The second title might be a bit too long," she said, smirking slightly.

"Well, it's still true," I said, shrugging.

She pursed her lips. "And...how exactly are you planning to avoid the wrath of my best mate?"

"Oh, well that's simple, love. What Evans doesn't know won't hurt her," I murmured, tucking a piece of her blonde hair behind her ear.

She inhaled deeply and locked eyes with me. "Yes, but what Evans could find out will hurt _me_."

"Well then, we'll just have to make sure she doesn't find out."

After a moment she seemed to make up her mind, and exhaled, smiling at me nervously. "How exactly do you 'shamelessly seduce' someone, anyway?" she asked.

"Well, you start off by telling them that they're the prettiest girl in all of England, Muggle world included. Which coincidentally, you are."

"Oh thanks, you're not so bad yourself," she teased, batting her eyelashes at me.

"Then, you ask them to meet you somewhere private. Like in the dungeons, where I happen to know a place, McKinnon."

"You mean a closet," she said, crossing her arms.

I smiled. "If they turn you down, you offer a different solution. Like, say...the Boys' Dormitories? I also happen know a very comfortable bed."

"You wish."

"I do," I admitted, laughing. "Now, if this person still hasn't succumbed to you, you just repeat step three until they do. Normally, you only have to repeat this step if they are exceedingly stubborn." She gasped and I grinned. "We could go to Sluggy's Slug Club party next week."

"You aren't invited! And what makes you think I'd want to go with you? You just called me stubborn!"

"Okay," I conceded, ignoring her threat of not wanting to go with me because everyone knew that would never be the case. "Well then what do you say we meet tonight in the Common Room, say eleven o'clock?"

Her rejection got stuck on her tongue and she hesitated, her eyes flickering over towards me. "I don't know, Black..."

I shrugged. "I'm going to kiss you someplace, and it's either going to be the Common Room or right here, in the middle of Defense Against the Dark Arts."

She rolled her eyes. "I already told you that I'd rather not kiss you in front of—"

"In front of people, I know, I know," I said, leaning against the wall and raking my eyes over her body. "But wouldn't you want to kiss me if we were alone?"

She bit her lip. "There's a possibility that I _might _enjoy it..."

"You _would_ enjoy it," I corrected her. "There's no might about it. However, I keep trying to get you alone, and you won't let me! And McKinnon, I might die if I don't kiss you pretty damn soon."

She raised her eyebrows as I let out a loud sigh. "You might die?" she said, giggling. "That seems a bit dramatic." I ignored her comment and walked up to her, peering closely into her eyes, and making her breath quicken. "Sirius Black, if you try and kiss me right now I'll…I'll…"

"Like it?" I suggested, finishing her sentence for her.

"No! I'll hex you so badly that—"

"Since you don't want to kiss me now and I have no desire to get hexed, why don't you just meet me in the common room? It'll make this whole situation much, much easier…" I brushed my nose slightly against hers, taking a step closer.

"Alright!" she burst out with, turning away abruptly and searching frantically for Lily to make sure she wasn't paying attention. "Alright, I'll meet you, Black. Just don't say anything to Lily; if she finds out, we're both dead."

"And _that_, Marlene McKinnon, is how you shamelessly seduce someone," I said, smirking sideways at her.

"Oh, shut it," she said, giving me a scowl that quickly turned into a smile as our eyes met. "You know, you really should write that book; you could make a lot of money."

_a/n: Ahh, I love Sirius:) Review! _


	9. Expecto Patronum for Dummies

"_You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel."_

_-Unknown_

* * *

><p>I almost stayed in bed today. I mean, no living thing should have to stay up that bleeding late and then wake up so bleeding early…<p>

It was all James Potter's fault, really.

If he hadn't offered to help me with my Arithmancy _or_ if he would have forced me to allow him to help me much earlier (which I will admit, I was a fool for resisting his help), and also if he hadn't have basically forced me to have a moonlit dinner with him (not that I'm _really _complaining), I would not be so tired right this moment.

When I woke up this morning, I was so sleepy that I didn't even have an appetite, so I skipped breakfast and used the extra time to catch a little more sleep. I was almost late to Potions, but I managed.

I didn't even realize that my hand was completely healed from the whole fire accident until James mentioned it as he walked by my cauldron.

"_Glad to see that that burn paste worked, Evans."_

Of course that comment, and that blasted smirk he sent my way through heavy eyes and slightly rumpled (but somehow alluring) clothing, brought back all of the events from last night, including the dream I had had which I had been successfully avoiding all thoughts about until he walked past. After his appearance I couldn't help but think about it every other second, in all its peppermint tongued glory. It was really quite frustrating.

After Potions we went to Transfiguration and Potter wasn't in my class, which I was quite glad about to say the least, considering he kept evoking all these abnormal feelings inside me. I used the time away from him to try and sort through things a bit, which only served to muddle things up more as I realized I was quite curious as to the skill of his snogging abilities, and couldn't help but wonder if he was as good as in my dream.

After a whole period of thinking about nothing but James Potter, which has _never_ happened before, I eventually realized that I would need help in sorting out why I was having weird thoughts about James Potter all of a sudden and why I didn't mind the thought of being around him, particularly from two people named Marlene and Alice. Unfortunately, Alice wasn't at lunch (something about a lunch outside with Frank), and Marlene wasn't in Arithmancy (which I am happy to say I understand _much_ better now), and having skipped breakfast, I hadn't a chance to discuss, or even bring up, the topic of my Potter-infused dream.

Which brings me to Defense Against the Dark Arts, where Marlene and Alice are both in. I was torn between telling them what had happened in the back of the room and not telling them, considering Potter was in this class also and could easily overhear. However as the class dragged on, I grew increasingly sleepy, and all I wanted to do was go back to the dormitories and sleep for ten years; I would rather not spend time going over the gory details of my feelings. So when Alice asked me, "Lily, why are you so fidgety?" I immediately broke down in whispers and began to tell them what had happened last night during tutoring.

"I just…" I paused to make sure no one was listening. "Last night, you know, Potter tutored me in Arithmancy, and—"

"No, I didn't know that," Marlene interrupted, her eyebrows raised. "I thought you said something about how you weren't going to let him tutor you in a million years?"

"Well I did," I said, running a hand tiredly over my face. "But I changed my mind because it was really late and I didn't want to fail another paper. Anyways, he tutored me and…well, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. He was actually kind of nice, he brought me dinner and medicine for my hand, and…" I sighed, shaking my head.

Alice and Marlene continued to watch me expectantly.

"After tutoring was over, Potter convinced me to stay up a little bit later with him and eat a midnight snack, but when he was gone getting the food, I—I fell asleep and I had a really weird dream about Potter, and—"

Alice gasped. "What kind of dream? What happened in the dream? Tell me, Lily, I have to know! Tell me!"

"Alright, Allie!" I said exasperatedly. "Calm down!" I took a deep breath as Alice vibrated where she was standing and Marlene tried to hold back a smile.

"We kissed," I whispered, and Alice probably would have screamed if Marlene hadn't covered her mouth tightly with her hand.

"Was he good?" Marlene asked, a smile playing on her features.

"Beg your pardon?" I asked, my eyebrows raised.

"Come on, Lily, was he a good kisser? In your dream?"

My mouth dropped open. "I…well, I dunno, I don't remember!" I lied. "Besides, does that even matter? I mean—"

"Oh, he was totally good," Marlene chuckled.

"No wonder she's freaking out!" Alice said, her face alight with pleasure.

"Disregarding his snogging skill, and I'm _not_ saying he has any, I would really appreciate some advice because—"

"Hey, Evans," a deep voice sounded from behind us before I could clear up my thoughts. I cringed inwardly as my heart immediately sped up.

Marlene and Alice gave me a look and melted away into the crowd, leaving me there to face him alone.

"Managed to create a patronus yet?" he asked as I turned to face him. "I could help tutor you with that too if you'd like."

"I'm sure I can do it myself," I said, standing up straighter.

"Let's see you try," he said, leaning casually back against the wall.

I swallowed nervously.

Oh, please let me be better at something then him, for once.

I raised my wand, thought about the time I discovered I was a witch, and said, _"Expecto Patronum!"_

A thin white mist came from my wand and hovered there for a second before dissipating into the air.

I frowned at James, and said, "It's not working!"

He smiled at me. "Lily, you can't just expect a full-blown patronus to come bursting out of your wand at full speed! For your very first try, that was really good. If you hold your wand like this…" he bent forward and began to adjust my wand hand, pausing with his fingers on mine. "Is it okay if I do this?" he asked, unleashing his eyes onto mine.

I nodded absentmindedly, struggling to ignore the chills that were emanating throughout my body from his touch.

"Anyways," he continued, not noticing my reaction to him (_thank_ _Merlin_), "if you hold it like this, it will be easier to flourish your wand correctly. Try again."

I did try again. And again. And _again_. No matter how many times I flourished my wand correctly and thought about discovering I was magical, I couldn't produce more than a shapeless mist.

Finally James said, "Lily, make sure you're concentrating on your happy memory, and your happy memory alone. Don't let anything distract you."

"Maybe you shouldn't be the one helping me, then," I muttered tersely under my breath.

Unfortunately, I didn't say it under my breath enough. "I'm sorry, Lily. Do I distract you?" he asked, his mouth spreading into a wide smile.

I froze, my cheeks prickling uncomfortably as they blushed a deep crimson.

"No," I said immediately, mentally cursing myself. "I said…thanks for helping me again."

Thankfully, he pretended to believe me and smiled. "No problem. Oh, by the way, how'd Arithmancy go?"

"I got an Outstanding on the assignment!" I said excitedly, positively glowing.

"Good, I'm glad."

I smiled at him as put his hands in his pockets and tilted his head to the side, watching me. "Thanks again for tutoring me, even if I _am_ as tired as Merlin's mother."

He snorted, holding up a finger. "Excuse me; I am just as tired as you are."

"Yes, but for some reason I suspect that you've had more experience in staying up ridiculously late and then lasting all day in classes. Me? I'm ready to die, and it isn't even dinner time!"

He clucked his tongue, sighing softly. "Don't die, Evans. That would make me terribly sad." I laughed as he put a hand over his heart theatrically and shot me a wink. "And just think, tomorrow's Friday and then there's the Hogsmeade trip on Saturday; there will lots of time for you to get your well-deserved rest and relaxation."

I nodded. He was right. Of course. A silence overtook us and I cleared my throat awkwardly. It's funny how much a dream can change your perception of a person. One moment, I can scarcely stand to be around Potter without ending up screaming at him, the next minute I can barely speak to him, let alone hold a riveting conversation! And here he was, not even knowing that _he_ was the reason I couldn't think of anything to say! Oh, I needed advice on what to do, and fast!

"So," he said loudly, breaking the momentary lull in things, a smile still playing on his lips as he began to help me again. "Just...try and watch me, Lily."

That wouldn't be a problem.

He closed his eyes and raised his wand. "You concentrate, concentrate, concentrate…"

I couldn't help but rove my eyes over his face, that flawlessly messy hair, his perfect nose, those lips that haunted my dreams, and subsequently my thoughts as I wondered hours upon hours whether he was as good a kisser as he was in my dream…

I shook my head violently, forcing myself to pay attention to what he was saying. It was all I could do to produce a patronus so I could gain at least a small portion of my dignity back.

"…and then…_Expecto Patronum_!"

A brilliantly white stag, radiating warmth and light, exploded from his wand and cantered around the room, coming to stand by his side.

I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes, feeling his eyes boring into me. I ignored the jitteriness he was making me feel and thought back to when I was young, when I was still friends with Severus and didn't know Potter existed and first discovered I was special and a witch and could do pretty things with flowers…

"_Expecto Patronum!"_

The same white mist erupted again, shining a little brighter this time, but nevertheless still shapeless. I groaned angrily, dropping my wand hand and scowling at the spot where my "patronus" had evaporated from.

James laughed at my reaction and I turned my scowl on him instead. "Lily, do you realize how hard patronuses are? Professor Watson probably doesn't even expect anyone to be able to produce them; he just wants us to be familiar with the method."

"Well, that's stupid!" I exclaimed angrily. "How am I supposed to get a job at the Ministry if I can't produce a patronus? How come you and Sirius can do them?"

He shrugged. "We're very talented."

I eyed him curiously. Talented in defense magic, talented in Arithmancy, talented at Quidditch…was he this talented with his lips too? I closed my eyes tightly, angrily pushing thoughts of him away. He was _James Potter_, for Merlin's sake, I couldn't think about him like that!

He sighed, placing a hand lightly on my shoulder and making my breathing quicken. "Let's do something else," he suggested casually. "This is obviously making you mad. If you still want to, we can work on it together some other time."

I paused for a moment, considering the pros and cons of another private tutoring session with Potter. Might I point out that the cons list was significantly shorter than the pros. "Alright."

"Good!" he exclaimed brightly, dropping a hand from my shoulder. I instantly missed his contact. "That gives me time to ask you a question."

"A question?"

"Yeah," he said, stowing his wand away and turning to face me fully, his eyes boring into mine. "I've been meaning to ask you again for a while now, and I figured that since we haven't fought in like, a whole day, now would be as good a time to ask you as any."

"Er…ask me what?" I asked, swallowing heavily.

"Well, I was just wondering if you'd like to—"

"Class dismissed!" Professor Watson yelled, cutting across James' sentence. He visibly deflated. The loud buzz of chatter immediately started up and we were flanked by our friends in seconds.

"Hey Lily!" Marlene said loudly, almost too cheerily.

"Oops," Sirius said in mock surprise. "Are we interrupting something?"

"Yes," James said tersely, glaring at his friends.

Alice looked at me with wide eyes. "Er…we could come back?" she suggested quietly.

"No, no," James sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'll…you know what, Lily, I'll ask you later." And with that, he tossed me a bright smile and strutted off with his mates.

Marlene turned to me with wide eyes. "He'll ask you later?"

"What was he asking you?" Alice asked, tugging on my sleeve. "You have to tell me everything!"

"She means _us_," Marlene interrupted. "You have to tell _us_ everything."

I groaned, rubbing my temples as we were swept out of the classroom. "I know, I want to, but there's never any time, and I'm _so _tired—"

"I know!" Alice suggested eagerly. "You can spend the night with us in the girls' dormitories! You haven't been up there in _forever_!"

I wrinkled my nose. "I'd like to, but like I said, I'm really tired, and—"

"Why are you so tired?" Marlene asked curiously.

"That's what I keep trying to tell you guys—"

"Listen," Alice said, stopping in the hallway. "You go up to the dormitories and take a nap, and we'll bring you up some dinner after it's over. Then, when you're all full and rested, you can tell us _exactly_ what is going on between Potter and you."

I bit my lip. I _had_ been dying to talk to them about this all day…and a girls' night _did_ sound inviting…

"Okay," I conceded, feeling a weight lift off of my shoulders. "Alright, I'll see you guys up there."

"Wait a minute," Marlene said, frowning. "Don't force her to spend the night, Alice. I'm sure she can tell us all about her and Potter tomorrow."

"But I want to know _now_," Alice insisted, giving Marlene a strange look. "Don't you?"

"Well…yes…but—"

"Then it's settled," Alice said brightly, cutting off Marlene's odd protests. "Tonight, sleepover, our dormitory."

I nodded, sighing happily, as Marlene began to protest again, earning another glare from Alice.

"Alright," Marlene said tightly, her eyes studying the floor. "See you in a moment or two."

"See you," I answered, starting up the stairwell to go take my power-nap, eyeing Marlene suspiciously as she gave me a smile that faded awfully quickly.

_a/n: Time for a change in things! The next chapter will be from Marlene's point of view, and soon after that I'll throw in a Remus chapter, because every story needs a good dose of him:) Review!_


	10. Loopholes and Lovely Lips

"_For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are: 'It might have been'."_

_-Unknown_

* * *

><p>This was not good.<p>

This was not good at _all_.

I swallowed deeply, only half listening to Alice's chattering, my eyes roving over every face in the crowded hallway, searching for the right one. Suddenly, my peripherals caught a head of smooth dark hair eyeing me from my right.

I dropped my bag, letting all of my books fall out.

"Oops," I murmured, bending down to begin to put things back, making a Slytherin curse angrily as the almost tripped over me and went sprawling to the floor.

I rolled my eyes as he glared at me.

"…and I just think that if Frank would—oh no!" Alice exclaimed, stopping in the middle of her rant to help me clear things up, but I waved her away.

"No, no, I got it, you go take the food up to Lily and I'll meet you guys up there in a few minutes."

She hesitated. "Are you sure?"

"Of course!" I assured her, snagging my quill quickly before Justin Chang could trample it.

She sighed. "Okay…"

Barely a second later, as soon as Alice's back was turned, the familiar hands I knew would come were handing me my fallen books in a neat stack.

I looked up into smirking grey eyes, swallowing a sigh. He was just _so_ damn _gorgeous_.

"I saw you ditch Prewett," he said, raising his eyebrows. "Any particular reason why?"

"I didn't _ditch_ her," I muttered. "I just needed to talk to you alone and that was the quickest way to do it."

I stood up to find him watching me amusedly. "You needed me?"

"I needed to _talk _to you. Come on," I said tersely, dragging him by the hand into the nearest empty classroom. He leaned against a desk as I ran a hand through my hair. "I can't meet you tonight," I finally said, crossing my arms.

"And why not?" he asked, one of his eyebrows rising.

"Lily's going to be in our dorm tonight, and we're supposed to talk and stuff, which I don't mind, it just means that I won't have time to meet you. Can we meet tomorrow?"

He surveyed me for a moment, and I swallowed nervously. "No."

"Wha—Sirius! Why not?" I asked, stamping my foot.

He just smirked.

I inhaled deeply, trying to keep my calm.

"Sirius," I said, staring into his eyes. "Lily is my _best friend_. Normally, I would never do anything that would make her unhappy, but I can't help that I like you, even though only Merlin knows how I could fall for you…" I smiled at his outraged look. "So, I tried to make it work, I even tried to talk Lily out of coming tonight, but she's still coming and now they think I'm loony and—"

"If you really like me, you'll still meet with me," he said, loosening his tie and running his fingers through his hair. My mouth almost overflowed with drool. I swear sometimes he does these things on purpose. Instead I punched him in the chest, fuming as he laughed quietly at my attempt at hurting him.

"I _can't_. If you really want to meet with me, you'll meet with me _tomorrow_."

He shook his head. "Tonight. Eleven o'clock."

My eyes bulged at his stubbornness. "Why? What is so important about tonight?" I exploded.

"The excitement," he said, a delighted grin alighting on his perfect features.

"The excitement," I repeated incredulously. "You find it exciting that my friends could find out about us at any given moment?"

He gave me a wink that made my stomach flip. "Don't you?"

* * *

><p>The clock's hand crept a little bit past eleven, and I pressed my lips together tightly. I did <em>not<em> find the fact that Lily could realize what I was up to and de-friend me to be the least bit exciting. In fact, I had decided not to meet Sirius a long time ago. There was simply no way. _Why then_, I asked myself, _have you spent the past few minutes desperately formulating excuses to escape for a few minutes and meet Sirius? _

I groaned inwardly, exhaling through my mouth angrily. I had been a good best friend for most of the night. I had listened to Lily talk about how she had had a dream about kissing James and how she didn't get the urge to yell at him every time he opened his mouth to speak to her now. I sat there and nodded my head when she described how she was muddled up and confused; I even squealed with Alice when Lily confessed she was 99 percent positive that he had wanted to ask her to Hogsmeade today in class and that she wanted to say yes.

_"I just don't understand what everything means!"_

_"Lily, you like him," _I told her, smiling broadly.

Her face turned red as she spluttered senselessly. _"I-no-I can't like Potter...I mean, I'm not _allowed _to."_

"_There are no rules telling you who to like and who not to like, Lily." _Alice had said patiently. _"You are allowed to like whoever your heart is attracted to, and no one can tell you differently."_

Right about the time Alice said that, I began looking at the clock. Could I help it if Sirius was madly good-looking and surprisingly charming? Could I help it if his compliments and flirtation and promises of a good snog kept me up at night? Could I help it if his hair was perfect and his eyes were mesmerizing and his lips were so tantalizingly flawless that I was having trouble paying attention in every class he was in?

No, I could not help any of that. But that didn't change the fact that I absolutely was _not_ going to meet him tonight. I stubbornly pushed all thoughts of Sirius away. Then again…who was Lily to tell me I couldn't be attracted to someone? Hadn't Alice just said there are no rules and no one can tell you any differently?

I mean, I know she's harbored a deep hatred for the Marauders ever since like third year, especially Sirius since he's (supposedly) the most obnoxious, but that was the past! Maybe she'd feel differently now. Plus, if she was allowed to like James, shouldn't I be allowed to fancy Sirius?

I sighed. Here I was, supposedly helping my friend sort out her feelings and all I was doing was thinking of loopholes to see the one person she didn't want me to.

Oh, Sirius Black definitely brought out the worst in me.

I bit my lip and tuned back into the conversation; Lily was now lamenting about how James was nicer than she always thought. How that is a bad thing, I will never understand.

"Lily," I said, interrupting her. "You like James. So what?"

Her mouth dropped open. "I never said—"

"You like James Potter," I repeated firmly, cutting over her protests and glancing at the clock again. "Lily, just listen to what you're telling us. You're nervous around him, you want to go to Hogsmeade with him, you had a dream about snogging him—"

"The dream is what started it all!" she moaned despairingly.

"Exactly!" I said triumphantly, pointing at her. "If you don't like him, then what did the dream start?" she looked at me guiltily. "I'll tell you what it started: it started your feelings for him! Or maybe it just made you aware that you had them. Regardless..."

She stared at me for a moment before suddenly shouting, "Oh, _crap!_ Sod it all to _bleeding_ hell!" She violently threw herself face down into my bed as Alice said urgently, "Lily, be quiet, you'll wake the others!"

I stared at her in exasperation, ignore Alice's warnings and said, just as loudly, "There is nothing wrong with that! Why are you freaking out?"

"Because!" she exclaimed, biting her lip and sitting up, slightly calmer. "Because, he's James and I'm Lily, and we never…I just never thought…" she stopped talking for a moment. "I guess he's just different than I thought and it caught me off guard so I'm not sure what to do now."

Alice grinned at her confession. "I'll tell you what to do now. Now, Lily Evans, you walk right up to him and tell him exactly what you just told us…in a more condensed version of course."

"What?" Lily yelped, hugging a pillow to her torso tightly. "I can't do that!"

"Why not?" Alice asked. "What have you got to lose? If you don't do this now, then you will regret it for the rest of your life."

"No, I won't—"

"Yes you will!" Alice insisted. "You'll spend your whole life wondering what would've happened if you would have just gone up and talked to him. Would he have kissed you? Would you have been happier?"

I swallowed apprehensively at her words. If I didn't go to meet Sirius how would I feel in a week from now? A month from now? A year from now? It was right then that that I decided to forget everything but what I wanted. I mean it was _my_ life after all. It was only ten past eleven…there might still be time to go down and meet him.

I jumped up before I could talk myself out of it. "I forgot my homework in the common room," I said, ignoring the strange looks my friends were regarding me with.

"Marlene, just leave it until the morning," Alice said, her brow furrowed. "It's not like anyone will steal it."

"They might," I protested, edging towards the door. "I think I heard the Marauders come in."

"How could you hear that from up here?" Lily asked suspiciously.

I shrugged and opened the door. "I'll be right back!" I called hurriedly, rushing down the stairs and slamming the door behind me, hoping to Merlin and back that they wouldn't come down and investigate.

Even if I was doing what I wanted for once, that didn't change the fact that I still didn't want to see one of my best mates unhappy.

As the common room came into view, Sirius swiveled around on the couch to see who was approaching, allowing a big smile to spread across his face when he saw me. "McKinnon!" he said approvingly. "You _did_ come!"

I nodded, giving him a weak smile as the butterflies erupted.

_I'm alone...with Sirius Black. _

"I'm not exactly sure _why_ I came," I said, biting my lip. "But here I am."

He patted a spot next to him on the couch. "Come and relax, McKinnon. Let's talk a while."

"I can't talk for that long," I said, apologetically. "Lily and Alice think I'm looking for homework."

"Maybe you couldn't find it," he said, leaning in slightly and capturing my eyes in his heart-stopping gaze. I melted. I just sat there and disintegrated into a mushy blob of blonde hair and pounding heartbeats and sheer obedience. I would do _anything_ he asked me to as long as he kept looking at me like that—

A loud thump sounded from upstairs and I jumped, pulling away from his close proximity and taking a steadying breath.

He pursed his lips. "You seem jittery McKinnon…"

"Just a bit," I ground out, staring suspiciously upstairs.

"Allow me to help you with that," he purred, catching my chin with his surprisingly soft hands and forcing me to look into his eyes. "Turn towards that wall."

I did what he said because he had hypnotized me with his presence again, and I inhaled sharply as his wonderful hands began kneading into my back. My breathing quickened; was he trying to _kill_ me? Every single nerve ending in my body was on fire as his fingertips dug into my tense muscles, working them smoothly. He leaned forward; his breath ghosting across my ear and making me jump as he whispered, "Relax, McKinnon."

I closed my eyes as he thumbs gently rubbed the muscles in my neck and took another deep breath before admitting, "I can't."

His hand stilled and I made a noise of protest as he spun me back towards him, smiling broadly at me. "Oh? So you do fancy me, eh, McKinnon?"

I laughed feebly as his fingers began running through my hair, producing chills. "Would I be here right now if I didn't?"

He stopped stroking my hair at my words, cocking his head to the side and merely playing with the tips. "No, I suppose not." His prolonged eye contact was making me antsy as the desire to lean over and press my lips to his grew with each passing second. He took a breath in and I froze, my eyes flickering between his eyes and his lips. "Marlene," he murmured, and for some reason my stomach clenched excitedly at the use of my first name, "can I kiss you?"

My mouth immediately dried, and I swallowed with difficulty, struggling to remain calm and not hyperventilate. Of _course_ he could kiss me. "You're asking permission?"

And people said he was rude.

A crooked smile bloomed on his face and I almost fell off the couch. "I figured you would want me to," he said, tracing a finger along my collar bone and making me shiver (something that was not missed by his attentive, slightly smug eyes). "Then again, if you don't want to, I could always wait until some other time…" he slowly leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss on my neck, making my pulse beat wildly and my hands tangle in his hair of their own accord.

"If you even try to wait, I _will_ hex you," I threatened, struggling to remain stern as he let out a laugh that was contagious.

"You, Marlene, need to learn some patience," he said smoothly, abandoning the ends of my hair and instead tracing my cheek bone.

"I think I'd rather just learn your lips," I said, darting my pink tongue across my bottom lip to moisten it.

Sirius smirked, following my tongue with hooded eyes. "I think I can arrange that."

He closed his eyes and touched his lips, feather lightly, on mine. Almost immediately I tried to return the pressure, but he moved back, out of reach. I groaned and fell back, my heavy breaths increasing in tempo. Once more he brushed his lips to mine, and once more I became angry when he moved back inconveniently.

He _was_ trying to kill me.

"Stop teasing me, Black!" I said, opening my eyes and giving him the best glare I could produce under the current circumstances, since all I really wanted to do was throw myself onto him.

"I told you, Marlene, you need to learn about patience."

"And _I _told_ you_ that all I needed to learn about was your lips," I retorted, advancing onto him and running my fingers through his soft hair, abandoning all my lingering inhibitions. "And I will."

His lips were softer than I imagined they would be as I pressed mine to his, tangling my fingers in his tresses and holding his face tightly so he couldn't back away.

He didn't seem to mind too much, however, as his hands found my hips, eagerly skimming over the soft skin that they found there as I kissed him harder. He reciprocated the pressure I had been begging for and I sighed into his mouth, capturing his bottom lip between my teeth. His groan set my body on fire, and his tongue swept across my lip; I pressed myself closer, not caring if a straggling Gryffindor walked in on us.

Which, unfortunately, is _exactly_ what happened.

"Oh…hello," a male voice said from the stairs.

I tore myself away from Sirius, who probably would have just kept snogging me, and looked blearily at Remus, instantly regretting my decision to stop snogging him.

Sirius scowled as he realized who it was. "You couldn't have just gone back upstairs?"

He raised one eyebrow, a smile playing on his lips. "Sorry, you should have told me not to come in here. Does Lily know about this?"

_Lily. _

I jumped up, trying to calculate approximately how long I'd been with Sirius. Too long, that's for sure. There was no way the girls wouldn't be suspicious.

"Oh, I have to go!" I said frantically, launching myself towards the stairs.

"I take that as a no," Remus said, pressing his lips together as I fled towards the dorms.

"McKinnon, wait!" Sirius called, and I paused for half of a second at the bottom of the stairs, poised on the balls of my feet.

"Sirius—"

"Just come to Hogsmeade with me on Saturday," he said, standing up, his hair still slightly mussed from where my fingers had ran through it.

My stomach soared; a real date with Sirius Black! It deflated just as quickly as I realized that we couldn't, no matter how much I desperately wanted to. "Sirius…I can't," I said apologetically, "James and Lily will probably be going."

"So?" he asked, taking another step towards me.

"I'm really sorry, Sirius," I said, ignoring the breaking sensation somewhere around where my heart was located, before fleeing upstairs. As I opened the door I heard a faint, grumbled, "Thanks a lot, Moony," but I shut the door quickly and faced my two best friends.

"Well," Lily said, surveying me coolly. "That took a lot of time for you to not find your homework."

I grimaced, hoping I didn't seem too breathless. "Oh, yeah, I think it must still be in my bag, because I searched everywhere and couldn't find it."

Alice gave me another look, like the ones she had been giving me all afternoon that said: _'You have been acting really weird, but I'll wait and ask you about it later, and you _better_ tell me the truth_. I averted my eyes from her, pretending I didn't see, because while Alice is very understanding when it comes to matters of the heart, she would undoubtedly accidentally let something slip around Lily.

With a huge sigh and a forced smile (would anyone ever be happy about having to turn down a date with the one person they'd been secretly pining for?) I flopped down next to Lily and lightly said, "So, what'd I miss?"

After a slightly uncomfortable moment, Alice launched into a speech about how Lily and her had had a humongous debate about what to do now that her feelings for James had been confirmed. While Alice was all for Lily confessing her love to him tomorrow morning when she returned to the Head Dorms, Lily was steadfastly refusing and instead insisting that she should just go with the flow until something happened on its own.

I settled down to listen, images of Sirius and I dancing in the back of my mind.

* * *

><p><em>an: I know Lily's control over Marlene and Sirius is probably pissing some of you off (I mean, _I _was getting pissed off as I was writing it!) but Marlene's just trying to be a good best friend. Don't worry, it won't go on for too much longer:)_

_Anyways, drop me a line (or two, or three)._

_Thanks for reading!_


	11. Because Sometimes I Hate You

"_Love is often gentle, desire always a rage."_

_-Mignon McLaughlin_

* * *

><p>I glared anxiously at the floor, my leg jiggling up and down as I sat uneasily.<p>

This was not like Lily at all.

Lily was always here.

At first, when she wasn't at dinner last night, I just assumed she had gone back to her room to sleep, since she was complaining about how tired she felt. Always the gentleman, I had brought her some food again for when she woke up hungry in the middle of the night. When I got back to the dorm and didn't find her curled up adorably under her covers, I was confused.

Possibilities of why she was gone plagued my mind. Maybe she was in a class, finishing up some work. Maybe she was disciplining someone. Maybe she was filling in for a prefect on duties or something. Maybe she was eating in the Kitchens for some reason. Maybe she was in a secret meeting with McGonagall. Maybe she had fallen asleep in a bathroom.

There were endless reasons for why she wasn't in her bed, and I sighed in defeat, sitting down on the couch to wait.

And wait.

And _wait_.

I am not a patient person to begin with.

Eventually, around ten o'clock or so, I gave up on waiting and went to retrieve the Marauders' Map from my trunk. As I rummaged around, I remembered disappointedly that Moony was currently in possession of the map. I pulled out my mirror, calling for Sirius, but he never appeared; by the looks of it, he had shoved the mirror into the bottom of his trunk after I had woken him up last night.

Angrily, I slammed the mirror down at my bed, and walked agitatedly back into the living area of the Heads Dorms. Lily's food (except for the treacle tart which I had eaten an hour ago) lay cold and untouched on the table, and after a moment's thought, I strode out to the hallway, towards the fat lady's portrait to retrieve the map.

"Password?" she asked sleepily as I neared her.

"Er…"

_Bollocks. _

I groaned. "I don't remember it; Lily's the one who keeps up with all the passwords."

"No password, no entrance," she yawned out, closing her eyes.

"But you know me!" I said loudly, rapping loudly on her frame to wake her up.

She glared at me beadily. "No password, no entrance," she repeated. "That's the rules."

"But I'm Head Boy!"

She shrugged. "Take it up with the Headmaster."

I angrily slapped a hand to my forehead and paced back in the other direction, keeping an eye out for any Gryffindors who were out after hours who could give me the password.

Of course, there were none.

Rule-following prats.

I returned to the dormitory, sitting on the couch rigidly and waiting for Lily to return. As hour after hour passed, I grew increasingly worried about Lily's well-being. She didn't just _disappear_ like this, unless something really terrible had happened. I didn't want to alert Dumbledore if she was just prancing about or something, but I decided that if she hadn't returned by morning that I would go and have a word with him.

For all I knew, a Death Eater could have whisked her away!

I fell asleep accidentally in the wee hours of the morning, and when I awakened with a start (after a really terrible nightmare) and a crick in my neck, I immediately rushed to her room to see if she'd snuck in while I was out.

I wouldn't care if she had been snogging some prick all this time, as long as she was safe.

I checked the grandfather clock on the wall. Twenty minutes until lessons started.

I began to pace in front of the couch.

This was _definitely _not like her.

Lily _never _stayed out all night!

I mean, if she wasn't back in exactly two seconds—

She opened the door then and walked in, not noticing, or pretending not to notice as I almost collapsed in relief.

"Lily?"

She gave me a small nod of greeting, smiling slightly before strolling casually to her room.

"Lily!" I exclaimed, following her inside.

"Yes?" she asked, looking up at me from her bed ever so innocently, as if she hadn't been gone all night long and I hadn't been worried sick.

"Where have you been?" I asked, my eyes wide and my heart still pounding in thankfulness.

Her eyebrow rose and she emitted a little giggle. "Why does it matter?"

Why does it matter?

_Why does it matter?_

The gratefulness running through my veins turned cold with frustration.

"It matters because, I don't know, maybe because you didn't even mention that you weren't going to be here tonight and you weren't at dinner, so I had no idea where you were! Lily, I almost went to McGonagall! I almost went to Dumbledore!"

"I was just with Lily and Alice. Why are you yelling at me?" she asked, looking extremely confused.

"_Why?"_ I repeated incredulously, anger creeping in through a back door. Not anger at her, just anger at the fact that she didn't realize, and didn't seem to _care_ how scared I'd been. "Lily, I thought you were missing, I thought that You-Know-Who had somehow gotten a hold of you!"

"But he didn't!" she exclaimed, her temper rising in proportion to my volume.

"And how was I supposed to know that?" I asked, throwing my hands up in the air. "Next time leave me a damn note!" She rose off the bed, her nostrils flared dangerously and her eyebrows furrowed as I continued. "You were supposed to be _here_ Lily, I was going to ask you to Hogsmeade!"

"You do not get to dictate what or what I do not do when I leave this Dormitory. _You_ are not my mother. If I want to have a slumber party with Alice and Marlene, I will! _You_ do not control me, James Potter, no matter how much you want to!"

I laughed humorlessly, crossing my arms. She was _so _off-base. "I don't want to control you!"

"No, you just want to date me, is that it?" She asked in a sickly-sweet voice laced with sarcasm. "You just want to _ask me to Hogsmeade_?"

"Well yeah—"

"See? You want to date me _and_ control me! And if something doesn't go your way, you throw a temper tantrum! How was I supposed to know you were going to ask me out? Maybe you should have told me, Potter!"

She was bloody unbelievable.

"I tried to in class yesterday! And for the record, I don't want to control you! I just want to make sure you're safe," I spat, narrowing my eyes as she snorted. "You're just doing this because you don't want to admit that we'd be perfect for each other!"

"What?" she exclaimed shrilly, her cheeks instantly turning red.

"You're always looking for ways to say we wouldn't work, you're the one who was looking for a fight today, Evans!"

She balled her fists, her voice raising an octave. "I wasn't the one yelling when I walked in, Toerag!"

"Oh, wow," I snorted, rolling my eyes, "you called me Toerag. I haven't heard you bust that insult out in a while, I must really be in trouble!"

Her cheeks flushed darker, and she swallowed heavily, practically screaming at me, "If we're so _perfect_ for each other, tell me why we're fighting, Potter. Go on! Tell me!"

"It's—"

"That's right, you can't, can you?" she asked, smiling wickedly at my look of outrage.

"Because…just because! Because sometimes I hate you, but most of the time I don't!" I spluttered, blurting out the first thing that came to my mind, no matter how nonsensical it seemed. "_However_, this is a time when I hate you, Evans!"

"Oh, just shove it!" she shouted, throwing her hands in the air and storming out of her room.

"You shove it!" I barked, following her.

"Real mature, James," she quipped, sweeping her hair over her shoulder and turning to glare at me. "And to think, I almost told you—" she cut herself off.

"Told me what?"

"Told you…" she paused for a while, searching furiously for words before shaking her head.

I exhaled an upset breath with a growl. "What's the matter? Can't remember what you were going to say? Am I _distracting_ you again?"

I regretted it as soon as I said it.

Her jaw dropped open and she stared at me furiously, her blush spreading to her ears.

"Evans," I began, taking a step towards her.

"No—don't even bother, Toerag!" she said, her shrill voice getting louder again as she spun around and stomped off towards the door.

"Lily!" I shouted as she simultaneously slammed the door.

I cursed under my breath, slamming myself down on the couch and punching a pillow in frustration.

* * *

><p><em>an: So, I pictured James as kind of like a worried parent after their kid runs away or something; they're so glad that they're safe, but they're still angry because something could've happened to them and the kid doesn't understand how scared they were for them, you know? Then Lily got mad because she thought he was mad, and everything blew up._

_Hopefully, I portrayed that well enough. _

_I know alot of you think that Lily is OOC in regards to Marlene and Sirius, and I agree, so I'll be trying to fix that in the chapters to come. _

_Review:)_


	12. The Plan

"_Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."_

_-Robert Frost_

* * *

><p>I sighed, pushing myself deeper into my bed. Normally, I use my free period to pull pranks or talk to McKinnon, but today I was sulking with James (who was upset about his fight with Lily "Control-freak-who-won't-let-her-best-mate-date-who-she-wants" Evans this morning) in the dormitories.<p>

"I wish I could go with McKinnon to Hogsmeade tomorrow," I complained loudly.

James groaned from his side of the room. "_I_ wish I could go with Lily to Hogsmeade tomorrow."

"I know, mate, I…" I sat straight up in my bed, not believing what I had just heard. "You aren't going to Hogsmeade?" I asked, my eyes wide.

He shook his head despondently.

"If you and Lily aren't going…then Marlene won't expect…we could…" I smiled wickedly as the beginnings of a plan that would please everyone began to formulate in my mind. James sat up, watching me with a hopeful expression.

"Padfoot…" he asked, grinning slightly. "Do you have an idea?"

I nodded eagerly. "We need Moony!"


	13. Helping Out

"_Love demands infinitely less than friendship." _

_-George Jean Nathan_

* * *

><p>I pride myself on being the type of person who will help my friends do most anything. I mean, how could I not help them after they've stood by me through "my little furry problem" for so many years?<p>

Because of this mentality, I've done a lot of stupid things in the name of 'helping', but nothing as stupid as this.

At first I refused to do it, telling Prongs and Padfoot that they were simply blinded with desperation for love, and that this was a very bad idea.

They ignored my concerns and told me I was just jealous.

This is _not_ true, considering how many ladies have gushed that I'm a great listener and really sensitive and easy to talk to, which is how I get with so many more of them than Padfoot (even though he refuses to accept it).

I then began to list all of things I'd done for them in the past year, from feeding the Giant Squid Lily's Potions book so James could buy her a new one and get on her good side, to helping break Sirius out of detention so we could go flying, to slipping sleeping potion into McGonagall's drink so we could have a Quidditch party in the common room.

All of those things were risky and could possibly get me expelled, but what they were asking me to do today, was simply dangerous. They were basically throwing me into the jaws of the lion, and if she found out I was sent there, she'd eat me alive!

When I was still reluctant to help, Sirius played the werewolf card, reminding me of all that they'd done to help me throughout the years.

Then James began to beg, and that was my undoing.

He was literally on the verge of tears, sniffling and blinking furiously, jutting out his bottom lip and repeating, "Please, Moony" over and over and over again.

Finally I nodded, and he knocked me over with a hug.

Now Peter and I were standing by the entrance of The Three Broomsticks, waiting for the signal and surveying Lily and Marlene talking to each other in a far corner of the pub. I kept repeating the plan over and over in my mind, but it wasn't calming me. It was, if anything, making me _more_ nervous! Any number of things could go wrong at any given moment, ruining James' and Sirius' chances with the girls forever, and getting us all severely hexed.

If we didn't distract Lily well enough and she happened to look back, if Marlene made a scene, if they ended up running into—

Suddenly, a glass fell off of a shelf and crashed loudly to the floor.

Peter looked up at me through shining eyes, swallowing loudly. "That was the signal," he squeaked.

"I know," I said wryly. "Come on, let's do this." We made our way across the pub until we were two tables over from where Lily and Marlene were. "Now remember," I said quietly to Wormtail. "This won't hurt at all; that potion I gave you from Madam Pomfrey's cabinets this morning numbs all pain for at least six hours."

He suddenly looked like he was about to cry.

"Pete," I said tersely, glaring at him. "You _did _take the potion, right?"

"No," he whined. "I forgot! I thought it was just juice."

I clapped a hand to my forehead. "How could you forget? I _specifically_ told you to drink it! Oh Merlin, this is exactly what I was afraid of..."

He looked guiltily at the floor, muttering, "Sorry, I thought you put the medicine in the eggs."

"Why would I-you know what, nevermind..." I sighed, glanced nervously at Lily and Marlene, realizing anxiously that their glasses were empty and they'd be leaving any second. There was no time. "It's okay, Pete," I said, closing my eyes. "I'm sorry too."

He looked up curiously. "Sorry for wha—"

With a flick of my wand, the table we were at flew up and hit Peter in the nose; it instantly began to bleed and he gave a loud shout of pain.

"Oh no!" I exclaimed loudly, sneaking a look at the two girls. "I can't remember the spell to fix the wound!" Lily and Marlene were peering over at us curiously and I began "searching" the room for someone who could help. "Oh, Lily! I didn't see you there, can you come help us?"

She grabbed her wand and walked quickly over, looking at Peter in concern. "What happened?" she asked, kneeling next to him. As soon as her back was turned to her table, Sirius and James threw the invisibility cloak off of them and rushed over to ambush Marlene. I nervously began to talk; if Lily turned around now, everything would be ruined.

"Well," I said, as Sirius cast a _Silencio_ charm on Marlene and James threw the invisibility cloak over her. "He just sort of tripped and hit his nose on the edge of the table."

"I'b very clubsy," Peter added, through his bloody nose.

"He is," I agreed, giving him a small smile. Marlene began thrashing, glimpses of her skin showing when the cloak slipped off. I cleared my throat and talked faster as James cast _Petrificus Totalus. _"He's always falling down stairs and things of that nature. I don't think it's broken…"

"No, I don't think so either," Lily said, gingerly feeling the nose as Peter winced. With a wave of her wand, the blood stopped. "Does that feel better?"

Peter nodded.

I severely hoped that Marlene was not as adept at casting non-verbal charms as Lily. Otherwise, she could easily escape from James' and Sirius' trap. They sent me a thumbs up and began walking over towards us as I held my breath. This was the hardest part; getting Lily to believe that Marlene had left.

"What happened to Wormy?" Sirius asked as they joined us.

"I fell," he said, touching his nose lightly.

Lily stood up, avoiding James' smile he nervously cast her way. "He's okay now." She turned and stopped, staring at the vacant table where Marlene was supposed to be sitting. "Er…where did Marlene go?"

"Oh," James said. "She was running out of here as we were coming in."

"Why would she do that?" Lily asked, staring at the table in confusion. "Her bag is still here."

We all exchanged a look. She wasn't buying it.

"Er…" Sirius spoke up quickly. "Well, she looked really sick. Maybe she doesn't like blood."

She turned and looked at Peter for a moment, the crusted blood still on his face. "Maybe…I'm going to go look for her."

"I'll help you," James said immediately, following her as she grabbed her satchel and began walking out of the inn.

"No thanks," she said coldly, stopping to glare at him. "I'm sure I can handle it myself; I wouldn't want you to have to _worry_ about me."

She turned to leave, but James still followed her, babbling apologies all the way out the door.

"Peter, do you have the mirror?" I asked urgently.

He nodded before scampering off after them. As soon as the door clanged shut behind him, Sirius and I exhaled breaths of relief.

"Just how we planned it," Sirius said, grinning broadly as he strutted off towards Marlene. After a quick look around, to make sure nobody was paying too close attention; Sirius whipped the invisibility cloak off of Marlene, lifting the enchantments he and James had placed on her.

As soon as she could talk and move again, she flew at Sirius, her hands beating his chest. "What the _bloody _hell was that all about?" she asked loudly (and very shrilly), glaring daggers at him.

He held up his hands. "Don't make a scene—"

"_Don't make a scene_?" she asked incredulously, rounding on me. "Would _you _like to tell me why I was attacked, Remus?"

"Er…not particularly…no," I said quietly, quickly looking to Sirius for help when she advanced on me.

"Marlene," he said calmly, pulling on her hand until she was standing in front of him. "Sit down, have another drink, let me explain."

With a large huff, she collapsed in the seat, waiting expectantly for Sirius to begin talking.

"We came up with a plan so you and I could go to Hogsmeade together while James and Lily were here."

Her eyebrows rose.

"See," he continued, sitting down in the seat across from her. "We had to make it seem like you'd left so Lily would leave too, and James could get a chance to be alone with her. Pete and Remus distracted her while me and James hid you under his invisibility cloak, and now that she's gone off on a wild-goose chase to find you, we're free to go about Hogsmeade on a nice date together."

Her lips pursed, mulling over what he'd said. Finally she asked, "James has an invisibility cloak?"

He nodded and I relaxed, glad that she wasn't _too_ angry.

"Yes."

"Lily's not going to tolerate James for very long," she said sourly.

"Prongs can be very persuasive," Sirius assured her.

"And what happens when we walk into Madam Puddifoot's and Lily and James are already in there and they see us?"

"First of all," Sirius said patiently, "we'd never go into Madam Puddifoot's to begin with, and second of all, Remus and Pete have that covered. Peter will follow around James and Remus will follow around us. Whenever we want to go someplace new, Remus will use that mirror to contact Peter and make sure that James and Lily aren't anywhere around. It's foolproof," he finished proudly.

"Well—I…" Marlene seemed to be running out of things to complain about, and I mentally applauded Sirius' ability to keep her remarkably calm. Of course, he has had lots of practice with all the girls that have shouted at him over the years. "Why did you have to hex me?" Marlene demanded, crossing her arms.

"Because that was the only way you'd let me spend time with you," he answered evenly, giving her a sultry smile. "And I _really_ wanted to spend time with you."

I rolled my eyes. I should have followed James and Lily. At least with them there wasn't a danger of a sickening snog session, even more horrifying then the one I had walked in on last night.

Marlene didn't answer him.

Sirius grinned. "Would you like to hex me once, just to make it even?"

Her mouth twitched but she managed to hold back a grin.

"Sirius—" I began warningly, but he waved his hand to shut me up as Marlene began talking.

"I would actually. Ready?"

"Er," he faltered. He had obviously not expected her to oblige. "No, could you—"

"_Incendio_," she said, pointing her wand at the tips of his hair. They were set aflame, and he jumped up, screaming loudly.

"Moony! Moony, put it out! Oh my God, Moony help!"

I really wish he would listen to me sometimes. "_Aguamenti_," I muttered, putting out the flames.

Marlene giggled as Sirius glared angrily at her. "You could have killed me, McKinnon!"

"Oh, come on," she scoffed. "It was just a little fire."

Sirius sighed, shaking his head, but not being able to hold back a grin.

I shook my head, not understanding why the bloody hell he was smiling; McKinnon was _crazy_. He needed to put a few hundred yards between them immediately.

"You should have told me about the plan," she said quietly.

"I will next time," he said, crossing his heart with his fingers. "Promise. Now, what do you say we head over to The Hog's Head? They've got some great Firewhiskey."

Marlene sighed. "I suppose that sounds okay..."

"Okay?" Sirius scoffed, taking her arm and leading her away as I quickly checked with Peter to make sure James and Lily weren't lounging around with the goats. "It sounds like a bloody good time."

She giggled and I rolled my eyes as Peter confirmed they were currently inside Honeyduke's.

This was going to be a very long day.


	14. The Way She Makes Me Feel

"_Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside."_

_-Margaret Walker_

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you don't want any Firewhiskey?" I asked Marlene again as I led her to a table in the back of The Hog's Head, drink in hand.<p>

"I'm sure," she said, giving me a smile that made me feel like I was walking on air. "I'm not thirsty."

As we took our seats, I reclined slightly, sipping on the drink and relishing of the feeling of just being here with Marlene; no worries and no responsibilities—

"I've been thinking…" she said, twisting her fingers together nervously.

I sat up, placing my bottle on the table. "Stop," I said, holding up a hand.

"What?"

"Don't think, Marlene," I said, shaking my head. "Just feel."

"Well, that's why I was thinking," she said, giving me a sort of half-smile.

Oh, Merlin. Thinking was never good for the blokes. I took another large swig of the Firewhiskey, emptying the bottle halfway.

"Marlene," I said, after a moment. "You aren't breaking up with me before we've even had a proper date are you?"

Her laugh echoed in the empty space, and Aberforth looked over at us suspiciously before she smothered her mouth with a delicate hand. "No," she said, still giggling. "I'm not breaking up with you. In fact, I didn't know that there was even a relationship to break. When did I become your girlfriend?"

I pretended to cringe. "Wait…so that _wasn't_ you I asked out this morning?"

She punched me in the arm. "Sirius!"

"Kidding," I said quickly, finishing off my drink and smiling widely. "You know I'm kidding."

She raised an eyebrow.

"I guess," I said, sighing loudly, "if you haven't broken up with me, then there's only one thing to do."

"And that is…?"

"Ask you out, of course," I said, leaning across the table and placing my hands over hers.

"I think you've got the order backwards," she giggled, a pretty pink blush spreading across her cheeks.

"Marlene McKinnon, would you please be my girlfriend?"

She smiled a smile that would make even my mother grin, and I let out a whoosh of air I hadn't realized I'd been holding as she said, "Only if you will be my boyfriend."

She just made me _so _happy.

Which is weird, because normally I'm the one making the girls happy.

My smile spread to my insides, making them feel all warm and fuzzy and I leaned across the table capturing her lips with mine, ignoring Moony's groan from behind us.

"Let's go somewhere else," I said, too energized to sit calmly and drink out of a bottle.

"Where?" Marlene asked, standing up with me.

We needed somewhere fun, somewhere loud, somewhere where my smile wouldn't stand out (even though it stands out most everywhere). "Let's go to Zonko's," I said, glancing at Moony. "Is it clear?"

He muttered something into the mirror and then nodded. "Yeah, Lily and James are at Honeyduke's."

I grabbed Marlene's hand and dragged her out of the pub and down the street, eager to get to the exciting atmosphere. As the joke shop came into view Marlene said, "You know, I don't think I've ever been inside Zonko's."

My eyes almost fell out. "You have never been inside Zonko's?" I asked incredulously. "You've got to be kidding." She shook her head, and I laughed, squeezing her hand. "Get ready to be blown away, then."

She looked sideways at me. "I'm already blown away."

Before I could answer, we were pulled into the throng of laughing students.

I tightened my grip on her hand as I towed her around the different shelves. "This is a Dungbomb," I told her, laughing at the way her nose crinkled up.

"I know what those are from the fiasco in Potions last year."

"Oh yeah," I said, smiling at the fond memory that had landed James, Remus, Pete, and I in detention for two weeks. "This over here is a sugar quill; remind me to get one before we leave, I already ate my last one. Oh yeah, see this? It's a nose biting tea cup, and that over there is an—"

"Alice?" Marlene asked.

I furrowed my brow. "Er…no, it's actually a—"

"Marlene?" a new voice asked.

I flicked my eyes over to where the voice was emanating from and saw Alice and Longbottom staring at us.

Oh, shit.

Marlene was blushing a brilliant red color (that reminded me of Prongs' Quidditch robes) and spluttering senselessly, squeezing my hand painfully.

"Hello," I said, grinning widely at them while trying to think of a way to get us out of this mess.

Longbottom nodded a greeting and Alice's eyes drifted down to our hands, her eyebrows raised in shock.

"Marlene…?" she asked again curiously.

"Well—" she began.

All of a sudden a large crate of candy fell off the top of a shelf directly behind Alice and Longbottom, and they spun around, startled. Remus was standing there sheepishly, amidst a sea of hiccough sweets. "Oops."

I tugged Marlene's hand, motioning towards the door to her. She caught my meaning and we made a break for it as Alice was still preoccupied with Remus' distraction. As we emerged in the fresh air and dashed for an alley way, Marlene began laughing and I joined in. Her hair was being blown by the wind and her hand was clenched in mine; as we leaned against the wall in the alley way, and I was catching my breath from our escape, she leaned up and kissed me softly, her fingers lacing with mine.

I was surprised at first, but my mouth automatically responded, and my other hand went to her hair, holding her soft curls back so they wouldn't blow into my face. As she pulled back, she began to giggle again, her cheeks coloring red all over again. "Sorry," she murmured.

"Don't ever be sorry," I said reverently, smiling down at her. "What's so funny anyways?"

"I don't know, I just…" she sighed, biting her lip and I was overcome with the urge to kiss her all over again. "I'm having fun."

My heart swelled at her admission and I grinned, smoothing her hair back behind her ears before dropping my hand to my side. "I'm glad you're happy and not fretting over how Alice saw us."

"Well, I do feel bad for just running away, but..." she paused, sifting through her words before speaking again. "This is what I was trying to tell you earlier. I was thinking through things and…well, I decided that I was going to tell them about us."

My eyebrows flew up. "Really? You're just going to walk up and tell them after all of the time you spent worrying about Lily getting mad at you?"

What had caused this sudden change of heart?

She nodded. "Yes. I decided…well, I decided it's not fair to them. Alice and Lily are my best friends and I don't want to lie to them. They're special to me, and you're special to me, and I just want them to know, even if they don't understand at first."

I grinned as alarm bells went off inside my brain.

_This means commitment_, my brain yelled. _You don't_ do _commitment!_

I swallowed heavily. If I allowed Marlene to tell her friends about us, then I was letting her think that this could possibly be a long-term relationship.

More alarms started ringing as I realized that I didn't have a problem with that.

Sirius Black is not supposed to do long-term relationships. Everyone knows that! Especially not now, when school was about to end and there was a war going on out there that claimed more and more wizards each day.

"Okay," I heard myself saying. "Okay, I'm glad you're going to tell them."

She smiled at me and I swallowed loudly as the implications of saying this ripped through my brain. _You can't break up with her the minute you see someone cuter walk past_, my mind said wryly. _You can't break it off if you get bored or have second-thoughts. _

I grimaced at the thoughts as I mulled through them. I didn't _want_ to do those things to Marlene; I didn't _want _to break up with her at the slightest whisper of something more exciting. While I had done those things in the past…maybe I was looking for something different now. Maybe I wanted something _real_ before school was out and I was heading off to face death as I fought against You-Know-Who.

Maybe I had found that with Marlene.

I sighed, fingering the ends of her soft hair as she watched me with concern. "Sirius? Are you okay?"

Her blue, blue eyes were staring into mine and I nodded, letting a smile fall on my lips as my chest expanded with happiness again.

"Yeah, Marlene." I paused to drop a soft kiss on her forehead. Oh, if any of the other Marauders saw me now, they'd make fun of me for weeks. It was time to step things up a bit. "I'm definitely okay." I brushed my lips across her cheek, nipping at her ear as I murmured lowly, "The question is: Are you okay?"

She laughed breathlessly. "I will be."

And she relocated her lips to mine, effectively stopping every plan that was forming in my mind as to how to make her even more breathless. I moved my lips against hers, flipping around so that she was pressed against the stone wall of the alley, and cupping her face with my hands before running them all over her body.

"_There_ you are," a voice that sounded suspiciously like Moony's exclaimed as he stormed over to us.

Did he have to interrupt us _every _time?

Marlene made to pull away, but I caught her head with a hand and held it in position, running my tongue over her lip and making her melt into my arms as Moony kept talking.

"You know, maybe you guys should stop snogging for five seconds and thank me, considering I just got banned from Zonko's for the rest of the year for you two. Hello?"

"Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away," I muttered quietly against her lips.

She gave a chiming laugh that made me press her against the wall even harder, wanting nothing more than our lips to be melded together forever.

"Sirius!" Remus said loudly, crossing his arms. "Sirius, you aren't listening to me!"

* * *

><p><em>an: While I love me some Sirius/Marlene, this will be the last chapter that focuses on their relationship since the story is drawing to a close. The last two or three chapters will be spent tying up all of James' and Lily's loose ends into a nice little bow. _

_What'd you think? :)_


	15. Apologies and Almost Kisses

"_Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit."_

_-Peter Ustinov_

* * *

><p>I struggled to catch up with Lily, side-stepping a bunch of third years who were babbling excitedly. Who knew she could power-walk so fast?<p>

"Lily!" I called out again as she blazed past Zonko's. "I'm sorry!"

"Yes, James," she called back over her shoulder (I couldn't resist the small thrill that went through me as she used my first name). "You've said that already."

I put on a burst of speed and caught up to her, smiling at the side of her face. "Yes I have, but you haven't listened to me."

She rolled her eyes. "I wonder why," she muttered dryly.

I groaned and ran a hand through my hair. "Lily, don't be so difficult."

She stopped short, her nostrils flaring and I quickly doubled back to join her. "_Don't be so difficult?_ I'm not being difficult, Toerag! You're the one who yelled at me for no reason! Excuse me if that puts my wand in a knot."

"If you'd let me explain—" I pleaded.

She huffed, cutting me off. "We're supposed to be looking for Marlene. Actually, _I'm _supposed to be looking for her."

As she made to pass me up again, I caught her arm, pulling her back towards me and ignoring her sounds of protest. "I'm sure Marlene's fine."

She looked up at me in disbelief. "If she ran off because she felt sick, then she's certainly _not_ fine."

"If she ran off because she felt sick, then she probably went back to the castle to Madam Pomfrey," I said logically, tightening my grip on her arm as she began to struggle. "She's probably not even here."

"Even so, we should still check, just in case," she spit out. "Let go of me!"

"Stop trying to avoid me!" I exclaimed, trying and failing to keep the frustration out of my voice.

She gasped. "I'm not trying to avoid you!"

"Then let me explain why I yelled!"

She opened her mouth to protest, but stopped as our eyes locked. I stepped closer and she took a step back, almost stumbling over a stick and letting out an angry whoosh of air. "Fine," she muttered, looking down and breaking my eye contact with her clouded green eyes. "I know I'm going to regret this, but _fine_. You have thirty seconds."

How was I supposed to explain everything I had felt in a mere thirty seconds? The confusion, the worry, the relief, the frustration…

I shook my head, but launched into an explanation anyways, focusing my eyes on hers as well as I could since they were still focused on the ground. "I was worried Lily, you…you just don't _get it_. I was excited for you to get back to the dorm because I wanted to ask you to the Hogsmeade trip today, and when you never came back, all sorts of terrible scenarios came to mind, and I had no way of knowing where you were…"

I paused and she looked up at me, with eyes that surprisingly did not look furious. Irritated, yes, but definitely not furious. I pressed on with my words.

"When you came walking in, I was so happy, and then you acted like it didn't even matter; you didn't understand how scared I had been _all night_. So yeah, I was a bit frustrated, and I probably should have handled it better, but when you started getting mad, I couldn't help but get mad back. You're just _so_ infuriating sometimes…"

I let out a small laugh, and the corners of her mouth twitched.

"But I _do_ like you, Lily. And you know that I care about you…too much obviously. But, I wasn't yelling for no reason…I was—I was yelling out of love."

I was well aware that I had gone over the thirty second time limit, but she didn't complain. Instead, she bit her bottom lip and let out a small sigh.

"I—James…"

I shook my head, letting her know she didn't have to say anything. I didn't want her to say something nice just because I had; I needed her to mean it. We stood there a moment longer, and I released her arm, taking care to drag the tip of my finger down the length of her limb before finally breaking all bodily contact.

Was it just me or did she look like she felt guilty?

I kept my mouth shut, resisting the urge to start talking again and waited for her to speak.

Finally, after what felt like hours, she took a deep breath and broke the tense silence with carefully chosen words. "You know…Marlene always liked sweets. Maybe she's in Honeyduke's. We could look for her there."

My eyes shot up to hers. Was she finally, _finally _inviting me to do something with her? Had she accepted my apology? She gave me a small smile, and I gladly returned the gesture, letting out a happy breath as a weight lifted off my shoulders.

"Let's go then," I said, falling into step next to her as she turned and started walking. "While we're there, remind me to get some Honeyduke's chocolate for my mum. What kind do you think she'd like?"

Lily thought over it for a minute. "Er…well…I like their rich and creamy flavor with the bits of nuts inside, but I don't know if your mother will—"

I smiled. If only she knew. "My mom would love that kind," I assured her, grinning widely as we stepped into the quaint store. "You know what—"

Suddenly she pulled me sideways into an aisle and peered suspiciously over my shoulder.

"Lily?"

"Shh!" she hissed, hiding in front of my broad chest suddenly. "I think somebody's following us!"

"What—" I turned my head to look, preparing myself for a fight.

"Don't look!" she practically screamed, grabbing my face with her hands and holding it firmly in place.

"Oh, Evans," I said, a smile breaking out. I could never resist a good tease even if the situation didn't call for it. Remus says that's why Lily gets mad at me so much. "If you aren't careful, someone might get the wrong idea about what we're doing here in this aisle all alone…with your hands caressing my face as it's inches from yours…"

She looked at me quickly and I was scared I was going to get slapped until she said, "Maybe we should."

"Wha—you want to kiss me?" I said, my jaw slacking and hanging open in disbelief.

Attractive, I know, but I couldn't help it.

Her face turned crimson as she rolled her eyes. "No, I don't _want _to—isn't that what people do when someone is following them? It's in all the movies!"

"Movies?"

"Oh, never mind," she groaned, releasing my face as she caught sight of whoever it was over my shoulder again. "It's wearing a black cloak, and…" her breath started coming faster and she peeked around my arm nervously, squeaking and whipping back to look at me through wide eyes. "It's there, but I can't see its face; its back is to us…okay, here's the plan," she said, taking a deep breath and drawing her wand. "You go jump on its back and I'll hex it. Ready?"

"What—no!" I said, grabbing her hand with mine before she could seriously hurt herself or someone else. "Just let me see who it is. I'll take care of it."

"What if it's a Death Eater?" she said, chewing on her lip with newfound vigor.

"Then it's all the better that I go see and you not go anywhere near him."

"But James—"

"Lily," I said calmly. "Why would a Death Eater be strolling around Hogsmeade in broad daylight?"

"I don't know!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. I dodged out of the way of her flying appendages as she continued with, "You thought that the Death Eaters had gotten me last night—"

"Lily—_Lily_!" I said firmly. "Calm down. Just let me take a look."

Reluctantly she nodded and I turned around, noticing a familiar lump in a black cloak that was two sizes too big for him.

Way to be inconspicuous, Peter.

I clapped a hand to my head as I turned back around. How could I have forgotten that he was following us? "That's Peter, Lily. It's not a Death Eater!"

I knew we should have gotten Remus to follow us; at least he could chat up some ladies instead of lurking around each corner.

She froze, looking between us suspiciously before taking a step back. "Wha—why is he following us?" she demanded angrily, probably more than a little embarrassed by her little freak out session.

"I don't know," I lied. "I'll go find out."

I sighed, storming over to Peter and pulling him a little ways away. "What are you doing?" I asked in a low voice. "You're scaring the piss out of Lily!"

His eyes grew two times larger than I'd ever seen them get, including that time Sirius almost threw him out the dormitory window, as he squeaked, "I was trying to follow you, like the plan said!"

I sighed, smoothing my hair down. "Can you do it in a less creepy way?" I asked, softening my tone. The last thing I needed was for him to wet his pants in the middle of Honeyduke's.

He nodded. "Sorry, James…"

"It's okay, mate," I said, patting him on the back. "Just…go talk to that Midgen girl over there." He nodded and I turned back to Lily, running through excuses I could tell her. If she found out that I'd orchestrated this (could it be considered a date?), I'd be kicked to the curb in two seconds while she screamed about manipulation, and she'd _never _give me another chance again.

I cleared my throat as I reached her. "Sorry about that," I said, running a hand through my hair as my brain worked furiously. "He wanted to thank you for fixing his nose, but when he saw us he didn't want to interrupt. Told you people would get the wrong idea if they noticed us."

"Why was he being so creepy?"

I shrugged, grinning at her. "That's just how Pete is."

She returned my smirk half-heartedly. "I guess I over-reacted," she muttered, twisting her hands together. "I seem to do that a lot."

I shook my head, scoffing, "Come on, Lily. Life wouldn't be exciting without a few over-reactions mixed in here and there."

She laughed quietly. "Thanks. I wish everyone saw it that way."

I furrowed my brow a bit at her small voice. "Lily? Is everything okay?"

She nodded, exhaling a breath of air. "Yes…it's just that…" She looked furtively at me, and I smiled encouragingly at her, willing her to continue. "Well, I was walking down the hall on my way to Hogsmeade this morning, and a random first year squeaked and almost cried when I was walking past him. I guess he thought that I was going to yell at him or something."

I cocked my head. "And that's bad? You _are_ Head Girl, Lily. You have to invoke some degree of fear in the younger years."

She frowned. "Of course it's bad! I'm not…I'm not a mean person. I—I don't want people to see me and automatically think that I'm there to spoil everything. I like to have fun too, you know!"

"I know," I said, nodding my head and giving her a smile. "I remember the Quidditch Party in sixth year where a _very_ drunk Lily Evans tried to dance with me—"

"I didn't know the pumpkin juice was spiked!"

"—and as long as I know, what's it matter what anyone else thinks?"

She let her jaw drop in indignation. "_Because_, James, you are not the only person in my life that matters!" she said hotly. "As crazy as it may seem, there are other people that I value even more than you!"

I held up my hands in surrender. "Okay, you're right. As long as you value me a little."

My comment got a small smile out of her, and she sighed deeply as I continued to watch her, running an exasperated hand through her hair. "I…It's Marlene. She's been acting really weird lately, and I feel like she's not telling me something. I just…I don't know what to do."

I pursed my lips, wondering what she would do if I laid a consoling hand on her shoulder. Deciding to test it, I squeezed her shoulder comfortingly and didn't remove my hand, instead letting it rest there as I said, "Don't girls usually talk about everything? Maybe you should just ask her what's going on."

She nodded, her eyes staring at my hand curiously, but not demanding its removal. "You're probably right; I don't know why I didn't just…"

She trailed off as I began to slowly and tentatively draw small, soothing circles over her back. Her searching eyes found mine and I gave her my signature crooked smile, not stopping the circle-drawing.

She swallowed deeply, taking her eyes off of mine and searching for her train of thought.

"You don't know why you didn't just…" I prompted her softly, taking a step closer to her. I knew that I was pressing my luck, but it didn't look like she minded one bit, and in the absence of her normal threats that promised to cause me bodily harm, I couldn't bring myself to stop.

"Right…" she said, taking the time to either close her eyes in delight briefly or just blink for a long time. I took another step nearer to her as she licked her lips. "I'm going to ask her about it next time I…er…"

Her eyes found mine again, her cheeks blushing pink, and I struggled to withhold a self-satisfied smirk. I have had lots of practice in deciphering when girls are being affected by my looks or my laugh or my proximity, and right now, Lily Evans was clearly being affected by everything about me. I slowly moved my dancing fingers up her back until they were tracing small shapes on the nape of her neck. She bit her lip, struggling to remain in control and plowed on with her sentence.

"I'm definitely going to ask her about it next time I see her," she said. As she paused to take a breath, I recklessly stepped in again, close enough to feel her warm breath on my shirt. "I…I should have asked her about it—James what are you doing?" she asked, sounding slightly panicked, and I paused the descent of my lips towards hers.

Yes, I know I probably should've waited and made my move on her some other time when I was sure she felt the same and wouldn't attack me, but her green eyes and red hair and closeness were too much for me to resist, so my head had bent towards hers without my permission and now we were staring at each other, only inches between us.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I asked lowly, wrapping my hand in her hair, and not being able to hide my smirk as her breath hitched.

"It…" she paused to take a inhale deeply. "It looks like you're trying to kiss me."

I grinned and tried to remain calm. This was _Lily Evans_: the girl of my dreams and all of my fantasies, and I had managed to get within inches of her lips without getting a death threat.

"Hmm," I hummed, not moving an inch and gathering up all my courage in case she actually did permit me to snog her. After years of chasing her, I was not going to take this moment lightly. "And do you know what it looks like you're doing?" I purred.

She shook her head; her eyes still boring into the depths of mine and making my bones tingle.

"It looks like you're _letting_ me try to kiss you," I whispered, making her swallow unsteadily.

"I—"

"Excuse me," a witch in a Honeyduke's robe said loudly as she squeezed past us. Our moment was broken and the loud noise of all the laughing students came rushing back to my ears as Lily's head flew away from mine. She was blushing a violent shade of magenta and I ran my hand over my jaw, cursing the witch mentally and surveying Lily interestedly.

She would have let me close the gap; I was 99 percent sure.

Nobody breathes that heavily and swallows that much and talks that airily if they aren't begging to be kissed.

And Lily Evans had definitely breathed that heavily and swallowed that much and talked that airily.

My insides jumped as I realized I might have a chance with her after all; after all this time, she was finally showing me some interest back. I had suspected this after the tutoring that had gone surprisingly well and our late night dinner, and the way I'd felt her eyes on me the whole time during Potions the next morning, and the way she'd said: _"Maybe you shouldn't be the one helping me, then."_ . All of those things gave me a clue as to how she really felt, but now..._now_ I was sure. A broad smile broke out across my face and I had half a mind to push her against a shelf and snog the life out of her.

Lily Evans wanted _me_ to kiss her!

Wait until Sirius heard about what had just happened!

I laughed quietly and her eyes found mine, still full of the desire that had been there moments before.

"Lily..."

Like magnets, her eyes pulled me forward, but instead of letting herself get caught up in me again, she cleared her throat and stalked past me.

"Let's go check for Marlene somewhere else," she called (still a little shakily) over her shoulder.

I nodded and ran after her, vowing to myself that if the moment arose again I'd kiss her no matter what.

* * *

><p><em>an: One more chapter until it's over! :( Review!_


	16. The End

"_It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride."_

_-Unknown_

* * *

><p>I took another breath, my footsteps echoing in the girls' dormitories as I paced back and forth. When would Alice and Marlene be back? I had <em>so <em>much to tell them! Like how soft Potter's fingers were and how low his voice was and how good he smelled...

I swallowed deeply, speeding up my pace and pretending not to see how Dorcas looked over the top of her book at me.

There are a few things that make me nervous: taking exams, lying to teachers, and riding a broomstick, to name a few.

Talking to Potter on the other hand, has _never_ made me nervous. Angry? Yes. Nervous? Never.

And yet here I was in the girl's dormitory, attracting weird looks from Dorcas Meadowes because I was too nervous to go talk to James after our very eventful Hogsmeade trip.

After we had gotten back to the castle and eaten a late lunch, it suddenly hit me what a good time that I'd had with him. He was very funny and very sweet and _Merlin_…the way he'd spoke to me in Honeyduke's had set every hair on end.

And then, as if he was trying to drive me crazy, he sheepishly pulled out the wrapped chocolate that was supposed to be for his mother and gave it to me, saying his mother didn't even like chocolate and he wanted to get me something I'd like. Well let me tell you, right then, there was nothing I would have liked more than to throw myself at him and attack his lips.

As soon as that thought had crossed the threshold of my twisted mind, that blasted dream came flooding back to me and I wound up standing there in the middle of the corridor, staring at his crooked smile, just thinking about what it would be like to actually kiss him.

"…_you know that I care about you…too much obviously." _

I groaned quietly as his sweet words sounded in my mind, pausing for a minute and tapping my foot agitatedly.

"Er…Lily?" Dorcas asked, putting down her book. "Can I help you with something?"

"Do you know where Marlene is?" I asked. She hadn't been in the Hospital Wing when I had checked earlier.

She shook her head.

"Do you know when Alice is coming back?" I asked her, sinking onto Marlene's bed.

She shook her head again and I sighed. "Lily, are you sure I can't do anything?" she asked, sitting up.

I bit my lip. "Er…well, what do you think of James Potter?"

An objective opinion would be good.

My cheeks flushed as her eyebrows rose. "Well, he's bloody gorgeous, ain't he? Smart too, the way I hear it."

Who was I kidding? No one can be objective when it comes to James Potter!

Dorcas squinted her eyes at me, leaning forward conspiratorially. "Why?"

I shrugged. "I…dunno. Hypothetically...if he were to ask you out, would you say yes?"

She snorted. "Of course! Who wouldn't?"

I frowned.

She opened her mouth to speak again, but Alice and Marlene walked in, saving me from uncomfortable questions.

"Marlene!" I exclaimed as Dorcas began reading once more. "Why weren't you in the Hospital Wing? Do you still feel sick?"

Alice's brow furrowed. "She wasn't sick. She was with Sirius."

Marlene's face turned red and Alice's paled, as if she'd just realize she'd said something she wasn't supposed to have said.

With Sirius? Why would Marlene be with Sirius? Unless…

Everything seemed to fall into place at the same time.

"Have you been sneaking around with him?" I demanded, rising to my feet. "Is that why you've been acting so weird?"

"Well…yes," she murmured, looking extremely guilty.

My eyes widened as I exclaimed. "Oh my God, Marlene!"

"What?" she asked defensively, crossing her arms. Dorcas sunk lower behind her book and Alice edged away. "It's no different than you fancying Potter!"

"Wha—that's completely different, I told you all about that! Why did you keep Sirius a secret?"

"Because you told me I couldn't even be friends with him, so I knew you wouldn't approve of me snogging him!"

Was she serious? Did she really think that low of me?

"Marlene I told you that a long time ago! You shouldn't have lied to me, it's not like I'm going to try to break you guys up or something!"

"And how was I supposed to know that? You hate him for no reason!"

"Yes," I agreed tersely, sitting back down. "But it's not for no reason and I don't hate _you_. If you really like him…which I'm guessing you do…then I hope it works out for you two."

I shook my head, studying the floor as my anger dissipated.

She sighed defeatedly, her next retort getting caught in her throat. "I…you're right Lily," she muttered, coming to sit next to me. "I should've told you, but I guess I was scared you were going to over-react."

I gave her a small smile as my heart sank.

"_Come on, Lily. Life wouldn't be exciting without a few over-reactions mixed in here and there."_

She continued on with her confession, returning my smile, but not noticing how it faltered a bit. "Plus, I was probably scared of…liking him too much. Sirius' reputation isn't the best, you know. But he turned out to be so sweet and so different than I expected!"

Her face was positively glowing as she flopped back on the bed happily, and I couldn't help but draw some parallels between her and Sirius and James and myself.

"_I wasn't yelling for no reason…I was—I was yelling out of love."_

James was much nicer than I expected also. He was patient and funny and attractive…

"James tried to kiss me," I blurted out, hearing a distinct thump in the background as Dorcas dropped her book in shock.

Marlene's shining eyes turned to mine in amazement as Alice gave a loud squeal from the corner she was still standing in and practically flew over to me.

"What? When?" she demanded, sitting down on the other side of me. "Lily, tell me!"

I felt a smile break across my face despite how conflicted I was. "I…we were in Honeyduke's and it just…happened. I…I _let_ him almost kiss me," I confessed.

"Why didn't he actually do it?" Marlene demanded, sitting up to properly interrogate me.

"The stupid witch who worked there interrupted us."

Alice gave a loud groan. "I _hate_ stupid witches who interrupt people," she complained.

Marlene nudged me. "When are you going to let him complete his task?" she asked, winking at me.

I shrugged. "I dunno. You can't really _plan_ for that, can you?"

Alice shook her head. "No. But you can walk up to him and say, 'Kiss me, James, I'm begging you!'."

My jaw dropped. "Allie!"

"What?" she asked innocently. "We've been over this already. I think you should tell him how you feel."

Marlene nodded. "I agree Lily. I think you'll be much happier."

I bit my lip. If my best friend had found happiness with a Marauder, why couldn't I? What was so wrong with me and James possibly being together? I knew that he wanted to, and I could tell from today that I definitely wouldn't mind it that much. In fact, I would most likely enjoy it if the chills he had elicited today just from standing too close to me were any indication…

I stood up before I lost my nerve.

"I guess I'll go talk to him right now," I said, drawing in a steadying breath.

Alice and Marlene cheered as I made my way out of the dormitory, my heart pumping wildly in my chest. I couldn't even bring myself to be angry with Dorcas for eavesdropping as she yelled, "Good luck!" after me. With every step I took towards the Heads Dorms, my breath got shallower and my palms got sweatier.

I turned the last corner and swallowed deeply, willing myself not to throw up. This wasn't Lily going back to Potter for more insults and screaming matches and hexes. This was _me_ going back to _James_ for the possibility of peppermint tongues and shivers and dreams coming to life. Speaking of which, this whole thing was even more nerve-wracking since he was _James_ now and not Toerag and I was Lily Evans: the girl who has dreams about snogging her arch-enemy-recently-turned-heart-throb. I groaned, dragging a clammy hand over my cheek.

Feelings are _so_ over-rated.

I reached the door to the dorms and stood, staring at it for a while, just trying to gather up my courage. Who knows what would happen once I stepped inside? I had no idea what to say or how to even start up a conversation where I could confess to him that I didn't hate him anymore.

Taking a deep breath and throwing caution to the winds, I swung open the door and climbed inside, stopping short as I saw the room.

Remus was leafing through a leather-bound book, Peter was snoring in an armchair, Sirius was sprawled on the floor changing Peter's appearance with each casual flick of his wand, and James was laughing raucously with Sirius.

Until he saw me, of course.

He leaped up from the couch, his eyes wide as he said, "Lily! Did you find Marlene?"

I nodded numbly, transfixed on his warm hazel eyes and those lips that had been torturing me for the past week.

A flash of irritation ran through my veins.

He made me so mad! I was so _frustrated_ with myself for being unsure about what to say and scared for the possibilities and frustrated with _him_ for _making_ me unsure about what to say but still making me feel like I desperately needed those possibilities! It was his _entire_ fault that I had turned into a bumbling love-struck girl. If he wasn't so…Potter-like, then I wouldn't be standing in the middle of the room like an idiot about to collapse in nervousness while simultaneously wanting to melt into his arms and punch him in his (Quidditch-toned) gut! Suddenly I understood what he had meant yesterday morning and I knew exactly how to express myself.

I took a deep breath before murmuring, "You know what? Sometimes I hate you too, Potter."

A smile spread across his face. "But the other times you love me, right?"

He was _teasing_ me, the (lovely) git!

I snorted, swallowing heavily as he walked towards me, stopping inches away. How was I supposed to think of a coherent response with him so close? "I…I dunno, James. What _is_ love?"

"Love is…" He hesitated, searching for words as his eyes searched mine. "Love is _you_, Lily Evans."

Just like that, all of my air was gone.

"I had a dream about you the night you tutored me in Arithmancy," I confessed, the words rushing out of me just like my air had.

"Was it a good dream?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Some would say so," I hedged, watching him carefully.

He took a step closer to me, making my heart beat more erratically than it already was.

"Tell me about it," he murmured, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Well…you were giving me a look," I began, my lips yearning for his. If I could only reach out one or two more inches…

"A look?"

And there it was.

"Yeah," I said, my smile breaking free without my permission. "Kind of like the one you're giving me right now." His charm smile doubled in intensity as I continued speaking. "And you had skilled lips and a soft tongue—oops, that didn't come out right," I muttered, my cheeks flushing as I cursed my nerves. "I mean you had soft _lips_—"

"I know what you mean," he cut me off, taking the final step towards me and wrapping his arms around me, his warmth pervading every crevice and destroying any doubts that might have still been clinging on to me.

It just felt…_right_.

"I know what you mean," he repeated, hugging me tighter as my arms curled around him of their own volition.

"Good," I said, my breath tickling his ear.

He pulled away from me, running a finger down my face to cradle my cheek. A shiver went through my whole body as the anticipation quadrupled and he smirked at my reaction.

"I'm going to kiss you now," he declared, his voice low and determined.

"Good."

He leaned in, those eyes trained on nothing but mine, staring at me like I was the only thing in his whole life that mattered. Those lips, about to be on mine, his nose lightly brushing my own…

"Wait!" I said urgently, and he froze millimeters from my lips, his breath mixing with mine and making me light headed.

"If you've changed your mind…" he said, his hand tautening worriedly on my face.

"What if I'm dreaming again?" I asked, and those lips that were so near to mine curved up in a huge smile. "Will you pinch me?"

"No," he all but growled, making another pleasurable chill course through me.

And then he touched his lips to mine; softly at first and then harder as my hands found his messy hair, growing in desire, in _need_, with every passing second. It was _so_ much better than a pinch. His tongue swept across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth hungrily, meeting his tongue stroke for stroke with my own, as we let our mouths duel passionately instead of verbally.

He was better than my dream and I was flying and when I pressed myself closer, he held me tighter and I didn't wake up. It was everything I had been missing since that fateful night of tutoring, and for once in my life I actually felt satisfied. At least until James groaned into my mouth, in which case I could think of nothing else but more, more, _more_. His hands danced on my hips, my sides, my face, anywhere they could find purchase as I kissed him with bruising fierceness over and _over_ until—

A loud whoop sounded from behind us and I broke apart from him, looking around in confusion and almost dying when his mouth decided it didn't want to part from me and moved to my jaw instead.

I had completely forgotten that Potter's little friends were in the room. Sirius whooped again and Remus let out a loud whistle, as Peter laughed nervously, having woken up and eagerly watched us.

"Careful there," James mumured, taking a heavy breath in and tearing himself away from me with great difficulty. "You're drooling, mates."

I stood there, completely dumbfounded until he laced his sure fingers with mine and tugged, giving me a grin. I returned his goofy, love-struck smile as he led me and my shaking legs to the couch.

Who knew James Potter could reduce Lily Evans to a quivering mass of desire?

I reclined next to him, grateful for something to sit on, and he put his arm around me.

I sighed contentedly, knowing somewhere deep down that this was how it was always supposed to have been.

"So," Sirius said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Can I be the best man at your wedding?"

* * *

><p><em>an: THAT'S IT! IT'S OVER! :( I really liked this story, and am sorry to have seen it end, but I hope you guys enjoyed reading it! Thanks for all of your reviews and alerts, and don't miss this last chance to tell me what you thought! :) _

_Until next time, _

_-Take This to Heart_


End file.
